Friday, November 04, 2005
TOMORROW
It was 52 Fridays ago. I was at a low place. My bedroom still felt like a hotel room and I wondered if it would ever feel like home. I missed everyone back in Boston and I had started to worry that I had made a big mistake by moving out to California. I didn’t sleep the night before because I couldn’t and I had a job interview that morning at 9AM at USC. Afterwards, I was in reasonably high spirits because it seemed like they were going to offer me the job. That and the fact that I was going to actually be playing out at a bar that night for the first time in California…just three songs to open up for Randy Todd…but it was still something…and at least the thought of it got my spirits out of the gutter.
So, I got home from the job interview around 10:45 and was compelled to walk. Had I forgotten the dream I had at the beginning of the week…that if I walked I would meet someone very important? No, I had not…but it was at the back of my mind right now.
I had some things to mail, so I headed to the post office. Outside, I chain-smoked and called my mom to tell her about the job interview. I don’t remember what else we talked about…I only remember that I told her I was reading Le Morte de Arthur.
Around noon, I finished the conversation with her, mailed the packages and headed West on Santa Monica Blvd. I had no destination.
I called Magda around 12:30 because I knew that the family she babysat for lived around that area and sometimes she would take the baby to one of the parks. I was hoping to meet up with her. I headed South on La Cienega…when she called me back…she told me that she was at the Pacific Design Center on Melrose…they were sitting outside if I wanted to come see them.
I probably arrived there around 1pm and spent a half hour or so before Addie got tired and cranky and Magda had to take her home. We parted ways and I went to the Beverly Center. I was probably there for about an hour before I got bored and left. At this point, I had been walking several miles and realized I hadn’t really eaten anything in several days. So, I stopped at the Whole Foods on 3rd Street and got some mashed potatoes, my favorite comfort food.
It is now about 3 pm when I leave Whole Foods. I am headed East on 3rd Street. The girl from USC calls me and invites me back for another interview the following week, which I accept. I am pretty happy at this moment. I come to Poinsettia Place and I think to myself: “Here you have come to a fork in the road. You haven’t slept in over 24 hours. And you have just walked 3 hours. You can go home and rest before the show. Or you can pass Poinsettia Place and keep walking. Which will you choose? And where are you going?”
Well, I didn’t know where I was going, but I chose to keep walking. I headed North on La Brea. I came to Melrose and again I thought: “You can go home now, but you should probably keep walking.”
It is now about 4:00. I am still headed North on La Brea and just North of Santa Monica, Tippy calls me. He is ranting. He is very upset about George Bush’s election three days earlier. He is going to run for mayor of LA when he finally gets out here and then Governor of California and then President. He has had it. I don’t really remember everything we talked about. But we were on the phone for nearly 2 hours. It was something about Jimmy Carter and peanuts…and something about putting a high speed train down the center of the 101 and up the 5 so people could travel quickly between the major cities in California without having to drive.
We talked and talked about nothing and everything and I just kept walking. I was drinking red Gatorade at that point. I made a right and headed East on Hollywood Blvd. down the Walk of Stars. When I came to the end of it, I turned around and came back on the North side of the street. I remember I was looking for Cher’s star for Tippy, but I couldn’t find it. I finally came back around to La Brea and turned left. We were still on the phone. When I got to Sunset, it was about 5:30. I don’t know why I didn’t just go home at that point…but there is a timing to all of these events and I had to hit that street corner at exactly the right moment and that moment had not yet come…I didn’t know all of this at the time, but that is most likely the reason for this detour…I had been out all day and I had the show in a few hours…But there is a Ross on the corner of Sunset and La Brea and I went in. I was still on the phone with Tippy at that point. Finally, he said that he had to get off the phone with me and call his sister. And so he did. I spent another 15 or so minutes in the store and then left. It is almost 6pm.
I am heading South down La Brea. And I am smoking a cigarette. I am almost at the corner of La Brea and Santa Monica and I put it out. I am on the left (East) side of the street and I remember that the walk signal is on and I can cross Santa Monica at this point. But for some reason…I don’t…
And I turn and I face the opposite side of La Brea and I wait to cross La Brea instead. Finally, the signal says walk…and I so I do…and I remember that as I came to the other side of the street, I went to push the walk button so I could cross Santa Monica…and out of the corner of my eye…I see him…
And he says to someone who’s face I will never remember: “I’m going to go and try to talk to her.”
I remember hearing this…only at the time, I didn’t know that whoever this person was…meant me…
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him walk the 15 steps over to where I am standing. “Do you have another cigarette?” he asks me. So, he’s been watching me because I put that cigarette out several minutes ago. “Yes,” I reply and I give it to him. And I don’t remember if he lit it himself or if I lit it for him…but I remember he put his right arm up against the lamp post and just smiled at me…
And the signal said “walk” but I stood there with him and we talked…and then it said “wait”
And I didn’t know if it meant to wait WITH him or to wait FOR him…and in the end, after he had told me I was beautiful three times…and there is an awkward pause as he looks me up and down smiling…I decide that it means to wait FOR him…and so I walk away…
And the rest of the story you know…
That was 52 Fridays ago…364 days ago…
Tomorrow is November 5th…that is the one year anniversary…
And I will walk the exact same route…And I will wear the same clothes…and I will eat and drink the same things…and I will go to the same places…
And I will call Tippy at the time we spoke…
They say that there are levels of existence and they are staggered and they are stacked up one on top of the others…this is one theory as to how time travel is possible…that if one were somehow able to find a way to slip through into one of these other dimensions…they would be able to visit that very day but in a different year. Regardless of whether you believe in this or not, a year is a period of time that is very significant to people. That is why anniversaries and birthdays bring up memories and ghosts from the past.
Will a trace of him be standing on that street corner at 6pm tomorrow night???
I don’t know.
Will there be any meaning in my walking tomorrow at all???
I don’t know.
When will I see him again???
I don’t know.
It was 52 Fridays ago. I was at a low place. My bedroom still felt like a hotel room and I wondered if it would ever feel like home. I missed everyone back in Boston and I had started to worry that I had made a big mistake by moving out to California. I didn’t sleep the night before because I couldn’t and I had a job interview that morning at 9AM at USC. Afterwards, I was in reasonably high spirits because it seemed like they were going to offer me the job. That and the fact that I was going to actually be playing out at a bar that night for the first time in California…just three songs to open up for Randy Todd…but it was still something…and at least the thought of it got my spirits out of the gutter.
So, I got home from the job interview around 10:45 and was compelled to walk. Had I forgotten the dream I had at the beginning of the week…that if I walked I would meet someone very important? No, I had not…but it was at the back of my mind right now.
I had some things to mail, so I headed to the post office. Outside, I chain-smoked and called my mom to tell her about the job interview. I don’t remember what else we talked about…I only remember that I told her I was reading Le Morte de Arthur.
Around noon, I finished the conversation with her, mailed the packages and headed West on Santa Monica Blvd. I had no destination.
I called Magda around 12:30 because I knew that the family she babysat for lived around that area and sometimes she would take the baby to one of the parks. I was hoping to meet up with her. I headed South on La Cienega…when she called me back…she told me that she was at the Pacific Design Center on Melrose…they were sitting outside if I wanted to come see them.
I probably arrived there around 1pm and spent a half hour or so before Addie got tired and cranky and Magda had to take her home. We parted ways and I went to the Beverly Center. I was probably there for about an hour before I got bored and left. At this point, I had been walking several miles and realized I hadn’t really eaten anything in several days. So, I stopped at the Whole Foods on 3rd Street and got some mashed potatoes, my favorite comfort food.
It is now about 3 pm when I leave Whole Foods. I am headed East on 3rd Street. The girl from USC calls me and invites me back for another interview the following week, which I accept. I am pretty happy at this moment. I come to Poinsettia Place and I think to myself: “Here you have come to a fork in the road. You haven’t slept in over 24 hours. And you have just walked 3 hours. You can go home and rest before the show. Or you can pass Poinsettia Place and keep walking. Which will you choose? And where are you going?”
Well, I didn’t know where I was going, but I chose to keep walking. I headed North on La Brea. I came to Melrose and again I thought: “You can go home now, but you should probably keep walking.”
It is now about 4:00. I am still headed North on La Brea and just North of Santa Monica, Tippy calls me. He is ranting. He is very upset about George Bush’s election three days earlier. He is going to run for mayor of LA when he finally gets out here and then Governor of California and then President. He has had it. I don’t really remember everything we talked about. But we were on the phone for nearly 2 hours. It was something about Jimmy Carter and peanuts…and something about putting a high speed train down the center of the 101 and up the 5 so people could travel quickly between the major cities in California without having to drive.
We talked and talked about nothing and everything and I just kept walking. I was drinking red Gatorade at that point. I made a right and headed East on Hollywood Blvd. down the Walk of Stars. When I came to the end of it, I turned around and came back on the North side of the street. I remember I was looking for Cher’s star for Tippy, but I couldn’t find it. I finally came back around to La Brea and turned left. We were still on the phone. When I got to Sunset, it was about 5:30. I don’t know why I didn’t just go home at that point…but there is a timing to all of these events and I had to hit that street corner at exactly the right moment and that moment had not yet come…I didn’t know all of this at the time, but that is most likely the reason for this detour…I had been out all day and I had the show in a few hours…But there is a Ross on the corner of Sunset and La Brea and I went in. I was still on the phone with Tippy at that point. Finally, he said that he had to get off the phone with me and call his sister. And so he did. I spent another 15 or so minutes in the store and then left. It is almost 6pm.
I am heading South down La Brea. And I am smoking a cigarette. I am almost at the corner of La Brea and Santa Monica and I put it out. I am on the left (East) side of the street and I remember that the walk signal is on and I can cross Santa Monica at this point. But for some reason…I don’t…
And I turn and I face the opposite side of La Brea and I wait to cross La Brea instead. Finally, the signal says walk…and I so I do…and I remember that as I came to the other side of the street, I went to push the walk button so I could cross Santa Monica…and out of the corner of my eye…I see him…
And he says to someone who’s face I will never remember: “I’m going to go and try to talk to her.”
I remember hearing this…only at the time, I didn’t know that whoever this person was…meant me…
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him walk the 15 steps over to where I am standing. “Do you have another cigarette?” he asks me. So, he’s been watching me because I put that cigarette out several minutes ago. “Yes,” I reply and I give it to him. And I don’t remember if he lit it himself or if I lit it for him…but I remember he put his right arm up against the lamp post and just smiled at me…
And the signal said “walk” but I stood there with him and we talked…and then it said “wait”
And I didn’t know if it meant to wait WITH him or to wait FOR him…and in the end, after he had told me I was beautiful three times…and there is an awkward pause as he looks me up and down smiling…I decide that it means to wait FOR him…and so I walk away…
And the rest of the story you know…
That was 52 Fridays ago…364 days ago…
Tomorrow is November 5th…that is the one year anniversary…
And I will walk the exact same route…And I will wear the same clothes…and I will eat and drink the same things…and I will go to the same places…
And I will call Tippy at the time we spoke…
They say that there are levels of existence and they are staggered and they are stacked up one on top of the others…this is one theory as to how time travel is possible…that if one were somehow able to find a way to slip through into one of these other dimensions…they would be able to visit that very day but in a different year. Regardless of whether you believe in this or not, a year is a period of time that is very significant to people. That is why anniversaries and birthdays bring up memories and ghosts from the past.
Will a trace of him be standing on that street corner at 6pm tomorrow night???
I don’t know.
Will there be any meaning in my walking tomorrow at all???
I don’t know.
When will I see him again???
I don’t know.
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