Wednesday, November 02, 2005
MORE TALES FROM CARTER'S AUTO
1) “Locksmith Eddie”—locksmith—5 feet tall and 5 feet wide—Carter says: “he’s a nice man, but he can barely reach the pedals because his stomach is so large.” This is apparently why he has wrecked many cars. Very good at playing darts and frequents bars in North Hollywood and Van Nuys where he challenges other patrons to a game of darts.
2) “Fast Eddie”—alcoholic—his wife apparently frequently buys him tickets to New York City so that he can make money there repairing cars—most likely, she does this to be rid of him for a few months at a time—According to Carter, “Fast Eddie” is a con-artist. Only drives while drunk and never drives his own car because all of his cars have been impounded. Once “blacked out” while driving and woke up in a NYC jail. Didn’t know how he got there. Spent 20 nights in jail where he apparently read many books on architecture.
3) “Coked-Out Katie”—hooker—“Sheri” is her “street-walking” name. Several summers ago when it was over 100 degrees in The Valley, she would pass out and sleep several hours in the baking sun in a car with all the windows rolled up out front Carter’s Auto. This is where Elliot, part-owner of Sepulveda Auto Body, first saw her and became enamored by her.
4) Elliot—as mentioned previously, along with “Kojak,” part-owner of Sepulveda Auto Body. Asked “Coked-Out Katie” to move into his mansion in Santa Clarita with him. She agreed to this as long as her “hooker friends” could also move in with them. Used to charge Elliot $50 for a blow-job. According to Carter, “they had a better relationship when he was paying her.” When she moved in with Elliot, she told him: “I don’t like to get involved. I just like to get high and date other men.” He told her: “That’s okay by me as long as you agree to live with me.”
5) Richard (aka “Kojak”)—nick-named Kojak because he looks like the television actor Telly Sevalas--part-owner of Sepulveda Auto Body. Is in his early 60s and has already had three open-heart surgeries. According to Carter: “he’s probably also bi-polar.” Carter says: “Kojak will probably die one day screaming and carrying on in the shop’s driveway.” Kojak’s doctor comes to see him because Kojak refuses to drive his Jaguar anywhere “because it might get dented in by somebody.” The doctor told him not to exercise and to keep your stress levels down lest you have another heart attack.” Carter says: “Kojak can’t even run to answer the phone.” Did not speak to Carter for 12 years due to an argument they had because Carter was parking his car in front of Kojak’s shop.
6) Angie—she is the ring-leader of all of the “street-walkers” on that stretch of Sepulveda. According to Carter: “all of the girls and many men are in fear of Angie because she beats them all up.” Exclusively dates men convicted of Murder I or Murder II. Currently in the state penitentiary in Coachella where she has apparently recently “found the Lord.”
7) “Shoeless Kim”—one of Angie’s “street-walkers.” Once changed clothing in the bathroom at Carter’s shop. While she was changing, Carter’s watchdog Bucky stole Kim’s shoes and buried them behind one of the cars in the auto yard. Dates a man that Carter knows named Kenny, who is the “laughing stock” of the garage because he has apparently “done things with ‘Shoeless Kim’ that you are never supposed to do with a hooker.” “Shoeless Kim” is also now in the state penitentiary in Coachella.
8) “Laughing-Stock Kenny”—According to Carter: “He’s a nice man, but in love with “Shoeless Kim,” who really takes advantage of him.” Kenny is still seeing Kim even though she is in the State Pen. He sends her letters and money at least once a week. Kenny also has a heroin problem and owes Carter a lot of money for car repairs. Told Carter he didn’t have the money at that time, but he was spotted at the bar Liquid Zoo on Sepulveda by both Willie and Fast Eddie pulling handfuls of $20 bills out of his pockets.
9) “Under-Handed Kenny”—“sneaky”—according to Carter: “you can’t trust him any further than you can throw him.” Puts ads in the LA Press stating that he has a room for rent. Gets young girls to move in with him and then tries to start relationships with them. Carter believes “Under-Handed Kenny” needs to be “polite pick-pocketed.”
10) “Kenny B”—works at Universal Studios as an accountant. Likes to fix cars and sometimes comes down to Carter’s to work on them. According to Carter: “he looks just like a detective.” Always wears sunglasses and many people believe he may work undercover for the LAPD, though Carter knows this is not the case. Has one son named Garrett.
11) Garrett—Kenny B’s 18-year-old son. Likes to steal cars, drink, and smoke pot—all activities which Kenny B enthusiastically condones. Is dating a 35-year-old woman named Rhonda and totaled her brand new Mustang a few months ago while they were driving to Vegas.
12) Rhonda—35 years old. Her ex-husband is allegedly in the porno industry. Met Garrett while she was at the local roller rink with her 12-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter. According to Carter: “Garrett enjoys playing games with Rhonda’s children since they are closer to his age than she is.” Rhonda is also friends with a woman Carter knows named Kathy.
13) Kathy—crazy—is practically stalking Carter at the present time. Carter used to like her and she only started liking him after he stopped pursuing her. Often calls Carter while she is in the shower to describe the experience to him. He tries to avoid her at all costs because “she is crazy and too much to handle.”
14) “Big Dick”—received this nickname because “everything is about Dick,” according to Carter and Eddie. Only talks about himself and will do everything within his power to steer the conversation back around to him. Throws good parties. Married to a professional tennis player who is 30 years younger than him.
15) “Tiger”—pimp—drives a big purple Cadillac—according to Carter: “Tiger is currently ‘on vacation,'” meaning he is in the State Pen. One of his “girls” is named “Special K.”
16) “Special K”—works for “Tiger”—according to Carter: “Special K really likes to hit the pipe.” While high, she will often remove all of her clothing and sit out in the driveway in front of the auto shops. Looks like Jane Mansfield. Carter apparently used “Special K” to get back at “Underhanded Kenny.” He told “Underhanded Kenny” that he had a girl who really wanted to date him and that he could pick her up on the corner of Sepulveda and Saticoy. When he arrived there, “Special K” was waiting for him. She then swindled him out of a lot of money.
1) “Locksmith Eddie”—locksmith—5 feet tall and 5 feet wide—Carter says: “he’s a nice man, but he can barely reach the pedals because his stomach is so large.” This is apparently why he has wrecked many cars. Very good at playing darts and frequents bars in North Hollywood and Van Nuys where he challenges other patrons to a game of darts.
2) “Fast Eddie”—alcoholic—his wife apparently frequently buys him tickets to New York City so that he can make money there repairing cars—most likely, she does this to be rid of him for a few months at a time—According to Carter, “Fast Eddie” is a con-artist. Only drives while drunk and never drives his own car because all of his cars have been impounded. Once “blacked out” while driving and woke up in a NYC jail. Didn’t know how he got there. Spent 20 nights in jail where he apparently read many books on architecture.
3) “Coked-Out Katie”—hooker—“Sheri” is her “street-walking” name. Several summers ago when it was over 100 degrees in The Valley, she would pass out and sleep several hours in the baking sun in a car with all the windows rolled up out front Carter’s Auto. This is where Elliot, part-owner of Sepulveda Auto Body, first saw her and became enamored by her.
4) Elliot—as mentioned previously, along with “Kojak,” part-owner of Sepulveda Auto Body. Asked “Coked-Out Katie” to move into his mansion in Santa Clarita with him. She agreed to this as long as her “hooker friends” could also move in with them. Used to charge Elliot $50 for a blow-job. According to Carter, “they had a better relationship when he was paying her.” When she moved in with Elliot, she told him: “I don’t like to get involved. I just like to get high and date other men.” He told her: “That’s okay by me as long as you agree to live with me.”
5) Richard (aka “Kojak”)—nick-named Kojak because he looks like the television actor Telly Sevalas--part-owner of Sepulveda Auto Body. Is in his early 60s and has already had three open-heart surgeries. According to Carter: “he’s probably also bi-polar.” Carter says: “Kojak will probably die one day screaming and carrying on in the shop’s driveway.” Kojak’s doctor comes to see him because Kojak refuses to drive his Jaguar anywhere “because it might get dented in by somebody.” The doctor told him not to exercise and to keep your stress levels down lest you have another heart attack.” Carter says: “Kojak can’t even run to answer the phone.” Did not speak to Carter for 12 years due to an argument they had because Carter was parking his car in front of Kojak’s shop.
6) Angie—she is the ring-leader of all of the “street-walkers” on that stretch of Sepulveda. According to Carter: “all of the girls and many men are in fear of Angie because she beats them all up.” Exclusively dates men convicted of Murder I or Murder II. Currently in the state penitentiary in Coachella where she has apparently recently “found the Lord.”
7) “Shoeless Kim”—one of Angie’s “street-walkers.” Once changed clothing in the bathroom at Carter’s shop. While she was changing, Carter’s watchdog Bucky stole Kim’s shoes and buried them behind one of the cars in the auto yard. Dates a man that Carter knows named Kenny, who is the “laughing stock” of the garage because he has apparently “done things with ‘Shoeless Kim’ that you are never supposed to do with a hooker.” “Shoeless Kim” is also now in the state penitentiary in Coachella.
8) “Laughing-Stock Kenny”—According to Carter: “He’s a nice man, but in love with “Shoeless Kim,” who really takes advantage of him.” Kenny is still seeing Kim even though she is in the State Pen. He sends her letters and money at least once a week. Kenny also has a heroin problem and owes Carter a lot of money for car repairs. Told Carter he didn’t have the money at that time, but he was spotted at the bar Liquid Zoo on Sepulveda by both Willie and Fast Eddie pulling handfuls of $20 bills out of his pockets.
9) “Under-Handed Kenny”—“sneaky”—according to Carter: “you can’t trust him any further than you can throw him.” Puts ads in the LA Press stating that he has a room for rent. Gets young girls to move in with him and then tries to start relationships with them. Carter believes “Under-Handed Kenny” needs to be “polite pick-pocketed.”
10) “Kenny B”—works at Universal Studios as an accountant. Likes to fix cars and sometimes comes down to Carter’s to work on them. According to Carter: “he looks just like a detective.” Always wears sunglasses and many people believe he may work undercover for the LAPD, though Carter knows this is not the case. Has one son named Garrett.
11) Garrett—Kenny B’s 18-year-old son. Likes to steal cars, drink, and smoke pot—all activities which Kenny B enthusiastically condones. Is dating a 35-year-old woman named Rhonda and totaled her brand new Mustang a few months ago while they were driving to Vegas.
12) Rhonda—35 years old. Her ex-husband is allegedly in the porno industry. Met Garrett while she was at the local roller rink with her 12-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter. According to Carter: “Garrett enjoys playing games with Rhonda’s children since they are closer to his age than she is.” Rhonda is also friends with a woman Carter knows named Kathy.
13) Kathy—crazy—is practically stalking Carter at the present time. Carter used to like her and she only started liking him after he stopped pursuing her. Often calls Carter while she is in the shower to describe the experience to him. He tries to avoid her at all costs because “she is crazy and too much to handle.”
14) “Big Dick”—received this nickname because “everything is about Dick,” according to Carter and Eddie. Only talks about himself and will do everything within his power to steer the conversation back around to him. Throws good parties. Married to a professional tennis player who is 30 years younger than him.
15) “Tiger”—pimp—drives a big purple Cadillac—according to Carter: “Tiger is currently ‘on vacation,'” meaning he is in the State Pen. One of his “girls” is named “Special K.”
16) “Special K”—works for “Tiger”—according to Carter: “Special K really likes to hit the pipe.” While high, she will often remove all of her clothing and sit out in the driveway in front of the auto shops. Looks like Jane Mansfield. Carter apparently used “Special K” to get back at “Underhanded Kenny.” He told “Underhanded Kenny” that he had a girl who really wanted to date him and that he could pick her up on the corner of Sepulveda and Saticoy. When he arrived there, “Special K” was waiting for him. She then swindled him out of a lot of money.
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