Tuesday, October 04, 2005
THERE ARE THINGS WE KNOW AND THINGS WE DO NOT KNOW:
1) I do not perform brain autopsies. However, I have, from time to time, told people that is what I did as a “fall-back” career…in case the whole rock star thing ever fell through. I have also told people that:
a) I was from Boston. True, I went to school there, but am not from there.
b) I was from Chicago. No, in fact, I’m from Indiana.
c) I was from Gary, IN. Not true. I actually grew up in Valparaiso.
d) I spent a while in the south. Not true. I don’t remember any of it. I was born in Florida and we lived in Georgia and North Carolina. But I was only 2 years old.
e) I graduated from high school when I was 14. Not true. I graduated when I was 18 like everyone else.
f) I have sold songs in Nashville. Not true. I am thinking of doing this, but have not done so yet.
g) Beth and I are sisters. Our father had four wives and all four of us (Beth, Bill, Jeff, and I) all have different mothers.
h) Beth’s family adopted me when I was an infant. Beth is seven years older than me. A funny story in our family is that Beth and our two brothers flyered the neighborhood with flyers that said, “Baby for Sale.” Our mother was irate when one of the neighbors rang the doorbell and said that her biological children were trying to sell the adopted baby.
All of these “white lies” were told to people…often to men that I was actually interested in at the time. I didn’t realize that other people ran around making up “white lies” and telling them to people they actually liked…so, I never expected that Clint would do this. However, as BD pointed out, if I am interested in Clint in the first place and he is “right up our alley,” he would be no stranger to this type of thing as well.
2) It is for the above reasons, I suppose we cannot put any stock in Clint being from Tennessee or him being a mechanic. The only things that I can really say that we can believe 100% is:
1) I met Clint on the corner of LaBrea and Santa Monica on the evening of November 5th, 2004.
2) His car really did break down. His hands were dirty. Though not a mechanic, he may very well have been trying to fix it because he knew something about cars. The mechanic line was delivered in an attempt to impress me. However, suppose the car never really broke down in the first place and that was a line as well. That he used to explain what he was doing on this sketchy street corner in the first place. So, perhaps, we cannot put stock in this either.
3) He is Romany Wicca. That’s a difficult thing to make up without knowing something about it. Especially since he drops the name of the store that he shops at and knows the street it’s on. He recognizes the very inconspicuous pentacle I am wearing around my neck (which I know is not recognized by people unless they know something about it). It is one thing to say you’re pagan…but an entirely different thing to say Romany. He had to know something about it.
So, we know what he looks like, that I met him that night, that he is Romany, and that he shops at this store. That is ALL we can know for certain at this point. And given those things, this fits Clint Borden’s description.
The questions I still have:
1) Why tell someone you’re from Tennessee if you’re not? But is it possible that he went to school in Tennessee? I know that Clint Borden went to school because he told me that he studied abroad in Belgium at some point.
2) Why say you’re a mechanic when you’re not? As Tippy pointed out: to impress the girl. And I suppose it is possible that Borden would not remember having ever said this. Which is why he told me he was not a mechanic in the email.
3) Carter says that Clint is “not much of a mechanic.” It is possible that Clint does not generally tell people he is a mechanic? But was only saying it that night to impress me. Carter says that Clint is “good at other things.” These things include: cell phone deals, lien sales. Now all of a sudden, Carter is talking about runs to Mexico to get black tar to sell. However, is this Clint? Or one of his friends? Carter is so confused most of the time, it is hard to tell. It would seem strange that the Romany wicca Clint is also a black tar dealer. But maybe that’s someone else who sells it. Clint works on movie sets most of the time (which is what he is doing when he disappears for lengths at a time)…then runs with these boys down at the shop from time to time. Mainly putting liens on the cars. It is hard to put a ton of stock in the DETAILS of what Carter says because 1) he is confused and 2) we don’t even know that the boys are telling him the truth. Carter is crazy and they know that. They might make shit up to tell him.
4) All we can really know from Carter is:
a) he knows a young man named Clint
b) this guy fits our physical description
c) he has known him for about 4 years
d) the guy is from Tennessee, or at least somewhere near there in the south
5) That means our options are:
1) Clint Borden is the Clint we’re looking for; Carter’s Clint is someone else
2) Carter’s Clint is the one we’re looking for; Clint Borden is someone else
3) Neither is the Clint we’re looking for
4) Both are physically the same person: Borden leads two different lives and doesn’t want people at the shop to know about his other life. That’s why no one knows his last name, phone number, or whereabouts.
5) If Borden is the Clint we are looking for, how do we explain Carter?
Suppose, we were meant to meet Carter because of his connection to this very story in another life. However, the Clint he knows is not the right person.
a) Had that person called me and ended all of this in January-March when he was at the shop, we would have very well taken the search elsewhere and ended our relationship with Carter because we did not really have one yet (that is before we had actually met him in person).
b) Had that Clint come back in May-July and confirmed he was not the right person, again we would have taken the search elsewhere because I still had no relationship with Carter at that point (our contact was limited to BD’s calls down there just to see if he had any news) But he didn’t come back then.
c) Had that Clint come back in August-Sept, we would now have the relationship with Carter because that’s when I had started hanging out down at the garage. That relationship would still exist. But just imagine how devastated I would have been in September, to find out that this was the wrong guy and I had no other places to look and had wasted all that time in that one place.
d) But now we have one other place…and that is with Borden, who, for whatever reason, we have returned to again for the third time, though I thought I had ruled him out the previous two. If the Clint (who I did not meet) returns to Carter’s now and confirms that he is not the one I met…we have Borden (who then turns out to be the one I met). The devastation is not there as it would have been in August or September because we had found the right one by that point. Then, we have: 1) a lifelong friend in Carter and 2) the right Clint…the one I met on the street corner last November…and everybody wins…
I personally hope that both Clint’s turn out to be the same person…because it makes the story that much more complex and beautiful…
But I think I’m no longer driving this bus…the universe took over the driver’s seat a long time ago…actually, it’s probably been in the driver’s seat the whole time…
1) I do not perform brain autopsies. However, I have, from time to time, told people that is what I did as a “fall-back” career…in case the whole rock star thing ever fell through. I have also told people that:
a) I was from Boston. True, I went to school there, but am not from there.
b) I was from Chicago. No, in fact, I’m from Indiana.
c) I was from Gary, IN. Not true. I actually grew up in Valparaiso.
d) I spent a while in the south. Not true. I don’t remember any of it. I was born in Florida and we lived in Georgia and North Carolina. But I was only 2 years old.
e) I graduated from high school when I was 14. Not true. I graduated when I was 18 like everyone else.
f) I have sold songs in Nashville. Not true. I am thinking of doing this, but have not done so yet.
g) Beth and I are sisters. Our father had four wives and all four of us (Beth, Bill, Jeff, and I) all have different mothers.
h) Beth’s family adopted me when I was an infant. Beth is seven years older than me. A funny story in our family is that Beth and our two brothers flyered the neighborhood with flyers that said, “Baby for Sale.” Our mother was irate when one of the neighbors rang the doorbell and said that her biological children were trying to sell the adopted baby.
All of these “white lies” were told to people…often to men that I was actually interested in at the time. I didn’t realize that other people ran around making up “white lies” and telling them to people they actually liked…so, I never expected that Clint would do this. However, as BD pointed out, if I am interested in Clint in the first place and he is “right up our alley,” he would be no stranger to this type of thing as well.
2) It is for the above reasons, I suppose we cannot put any stock in Clint being from Tennessee or him being a mechanic. The only things that I can really say that we can believe 100% is:
1) I met Clint on the corner of LaBrea and Santa Monica on the evening of November 5th, 2004.
2) His car really did break down. His hands were dirty. Though not a mechanic, he may very well have been trying to fix it because he knew something about cars. The mechanic line was delivered in an attempt to impress me. However, suppose the car never really broke down in the first place and that was a line as well. That he used to explain what he was doing on this sketchy street corner in the first place. So, perhaps, we cannot put stock in this either.
3) He is Romany Wicca. That’s a difficult thing to make up without knowing something about it. Especially since he drops the name of the store that he shops at and knows the street it’s on. He recognizes the very inconspicuous pentacle I am wearing around my neck (which I know is not recognized by people unless they know something about it). It is one thing to say you’re pagan…but an entirely different thing to say Romany. He had to know something about it.
So, we know what he looks like, that I met him that night, that he is Romany, and that he shops at this store. That is ALL we can know for certain at this point. And given those things, this fits Clint Borden’s description.
The questions I still have:
1) Why tell someone you’re from Tennessee if you’re not? But is it possible that he went to school in Tennessee? I know that Clint Borden went to school because he told me that he studied abroad in Belgium at some point.
2) Why say you’re a mechanic when you’re not? As Tippy pointed out: to impress the girl. And I suppose it is possible that Borden would not remember having ever said this. Which is why he told me he was not a mechanic in the email.
3) Carter says that Clint is “not much of a mechanic.” It is possible that Clint does not generally tell people he is a mechanic? But was only saying it that night to impress me. Carter says that Clint is “good at other things.” These things include: cell phone deals, lien sales. Now all of a sudden, Carter is talking about runs to Mexico to get black tar to sell. However, is this Clint? Or one of his friends? Carter is so confused most of the time, it is hard to tell. It would seem strange that the Romany wicca Clint is also a black tar dealer. But maybe that’s someone else who sells it. Clint works on movie sets most of the time (which is what he is doing when he disappears for lengths at a time)…then runs with these boys down at the shop from time to time. Mainly putting liens on the cars. It is hard to put a ton of stock in the DETAILS of what Carter says because 1) he is confused and 2) we don’t even know that the boys are telling him the truth. Carter is crazy and they know that. They might make shit up to tell him.
4) All we can really know from Carter is:
a) he knows a young man named Clint
b) this guy fits our physical description
c) he has known him for about 4 years
d) the guy is from Tennessee, or at least somewhere near there in the south
5) That means our options are:
1) Clint Borden is the Clint we’re looking for; Carter’s Clint is someone else
2) Carter’s Clint is the one we’re looking for; Clint Borden is someone else
3) Neither is the Clint we’re looking for
4) Both are physically the same person: Borden leads two different lives and doesn’t want people at the shop to know about his other life. That’s why no one knows his last name, phone number, or whereabouts.
5) If Borden is the Clint we are looking for, how do we explain Carter?
Suppose, we were meant to meet Carter because of his connection to this very story in another life. However, the Clint he knows is not the right person.
a) Had that person called me and ended all of this in January-March when he was at the shop, we would have very well taken the search elsewhere and ended our relationship with Carter because we did not really have one yet (that is before we had actually met him in person).
b) Had that Clint come back in May-July and confirmed he was not the right person, again we would have taken the search elsewhere because I still had no relationship with Carter at that point (our contact was limited to BD’s calls down there just to see if he had any news) But he didn’t come back then.
c) Had that Clint come back in August-Sept, we would now have the relationship with Carter because that’s when I had started hanging out down at the garage. That relationship would still exist. But just imagine how devastated I would have been in September, to find out that this was the wrong guy and I had no other places to look and had wasted all that time in that one place.
d) But now we have one other place…and that is with Borden, who, for whatever reason, we have returned to again for the third time, though I thought I had ruled him out the previous two. If the Clint (who I did not meet) returns to Carter’s now and confirms that he is not the one I met…we have Borden (who then turns out to be the one I met). The devastation is not there as it would have been in August or September because we had found the right one by that point. Then, we have: 1) a lifelong friend in Carter and 2) the right Clint…the one I met on the street corner last November…and everybody wins…
I personally hope that both Clint’s turn out to be the same person…because it makes the story that much more complex and beautiful…
But I think I’m no longer driving this bus…the universe took over the driver’s seat a long time ago…actually, it’s probably been in the driver’s seat the whole time…
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