Wednesday, October 05, 2005
MY DREAM LAST NIGHT:
I usually don’t dream like Carter…of actual events that take place the exact way they are dreamed. My dreams tend to be much more symbolic. This is the most vivid dream that I have EVER had of Clint. I woke up and it was like he was in the room with me still. I was very shaken…I sense that something is coming very soon…it was as if I could have reached out and touched him…I woke up and wrote down everything I could remember…
My Dream 10/5/05
Something was going on at a pagan convention center of some kind and we had been told that Clint was going to be there. There was also a dance going on at this place and it was also a birthday party for one of our Mexican friends…maybe Victor Hugo…
We walked in and we knew that Clint was there because Carter had told us that he would be there. I was worried that I wouldn’t recognize him, but as soon as I saw him, I knew it was him. I walked up and said, “Clint,” and though he didn’t say my name, I knew he knew who I was. He told me later that though he didn’t remember my name, he remembered my face.
We ended up leaving together and everyone thought that was okay because we should be alone together because we had a lot to talk about. There was a room where we went and I remember there was a fire burning in it.
Beth finally came into the room later and said: “Carter’s called here three times already tonight and wanted to know what was going on. I told him you were getting to know each other properly.”
Then she said: “If people ask you, they are going to think you were coached as to what to say or what to do. They may not believe this story. You tell them you just happened to be there and you saw each other.”
Clint said: “It doesn’t matter what people think. We know everything that happened. Carter knows you and I know him and it all worked out right. THAT’S what you should tell the people if they ask.”
And then he looked at me and smiled, and it was as if I had known him forever…
____________________________________________________________________
MY DEDICATION:
I hope that I have done a good job. I hope I have learned the right lesson. I hope I have learned the right things. It is about not walking away from things that affect you in monumental ways. It is about persevering against (at times) seemingly insurmountable odds. But on a personal level, it is a lesson of patience. No one can really know what that means until you must ask a completely impatient person to patiently wait. I am that person. I hope, through this, I have learned some form of patience.
My impatience, which is really an inappropriate sense of time and reality, exaggerates my sense of time and makes me even more impatient.
My impatience may make me rush blindly towards my goal, missing the full scope of the journey. I hope these 47 songs may immortalize ever facet of this trip…the ups and downs…the light and darkness…the blindness and moments of clarity and sight...that make this story as beautifully painful yet promising as it is.
And I hope that these 47 songs remind me…even after he has returned…to be patient on the next leg of this journey…
As a new dawn comes and our next chapter begins…
Find Clint. Find Peace.
I usually don’t dream like Carter…of actual events that take place the exact way they are dreamed. My dreams tend to be much more symbolic. This is the most vivid dream that I have EVER had of Clint. I woke up and it was like he was in the room with me still. I was very shaken…I sense that something is coming very soon…it was as if I could have reached out and touched him…I woke up and wrote down everything I could remember…
My Dream 10/5/05
Something was going on at a pagan convention center of some kind and we had been told that Clint was going to be there. There was also a dance going on at this place and it was also a birthday party for one of our Mexican friends…maybe Victor Hugo…
We walked in and we knew that Clint was there because Carter had told us that he would be there. I was worried that I wouldn’t recognize him, but as soon as I saw him, I knew it was him. I walked up and said, “Clint,” and though he didn’t say my name, I knew he knew who I was. He told me later that though he didn’t remember my name, he remembered my face.
We ended up leaving together and everyone thought that was okay because we should be alone together because we had a lot to talk about. There was a room where we went and I remember there was a fire burning in it.
Beth finally came into the room later and said: “Carter’s called here three times already tonight and wanted to know what was going on. I told him you were getting to know each other properly.”
Then she said: “If people ask you, they are going to think you were coached as to what to say or what to do. They may not believe this story. You tell them you just happened to be there and you saw each other.”
Clint said: “It doesn’t matter what people think. We know everything that happened. Carter knows you and I know him and it all worked out right. THAT’S what you should tell the people if they ask.”
And then he looked at me and smiled, and it was as if I had known him forever…
____________________________________________________________________
MY DEDICATION:
I hope that I have done a good job. I hope I have learned the right lesson. I hope I have learned the right things. It is about not walking away from things that affect you in monumental ways. It is about persevering against (at times) seemingly insurmountable odds. But on a personal level, it is a lesson of patience. No one can really know what that means until you must ask a completely impatient person to patiently wait. I am that person. I hope, through this, I have learned some form of patience.
My impatience, which is really an inappropriate sense of time and reality, exaggerates my sense of time and makes me even more impatient.
My impatience may make me rush blindly towards my goal, missing the full scope of the journey. I hope these 47 songs may immortalize ever facet of this trip…the ups and downs…the light and darkness…the blindness and moments of clarity and sight...that make this story as beautifully painful yet promising as it is.
And I hope that these 47 songs remind me…even after he has returned…to be patient on the next leg of this journey…
As a new dawn comes and our next chapter begins…
Find Clint. Find Peace.
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