Tuesday, September 13, 2005
MORE PEOPLE I HAVE MET WHILE HANGING AT CARTER'S AUTO
9) Arty- I mentioned him earlier, but have since learned more about his “situation.” Has an extremely raspy voice. One of the strangest voices I have ever heard. I thought he simply had laryngitis, but I have come to learn that Arty used to have an extremely loud and booming voice until one day when he permanently damaged his voice when he “swallowed some glass.” No one knows why he did this. Even stranger: no one has thought to ask him why.
10) Jerry- A woman. Used to be a man. She is white, but has a black son who is supposedly “a very famous rap artist.” Jerry (who is well over 6 feet tall) is always in the company of a 4’ 8” woman who has a fondness for Tweety Bird. No one knows how they know each other or what they are doing together.
11) One-Nut Jack- No one knows how he came to acquire this name. According to most, he has both of his nuts.
12) Willie- Has a home, but prefers to sleep in a camper parked in the lot next to the garage. This is highly illegal, according to Carter, but Willie insists on crashing there most nights. Carter has even run electricity out to the camper so Willie could have power. Willie works on cars with Carter and has known him for many many years. Has taken a keen interest in me and the Clint story. Told me that he remembers Clint was “very attractive,” but he would be willing to change his own name to Clint if I thought that might help. Also asked me if I wanted “to kill Clint or just do him?”
13) Elvis- 5’1” stocky, slow-witted man. Claims to be an Elvis impersonator, but when asked where he performs, he replied, “In my shower.” Lives in a home he calls, appropriately enough, “Graceland.” According to those who have seen it, it does look somewhat like Graceland but on a much smaller scale. Has been seen around town in full-Elvis attire, but showed up at the garage the day I met him wearing a ripped up T-shirt, shorts, and a fanny pack. Said he would have dressed as Elvis that day, but he hurt his hips and simply had no energy. Did serenade Mr. Carter, Willie, and myself with several Elvis songs while at the shop.
14) Mike- mentioned previously. Cross-dresser. Obsessed with the O.J. Simpson trial. Went to the trial every day while it was going on. Brought three photo albums of pictures to the shop to show me what happened during the trial. Was going to come to my show on Friday night at Kibitz Room (and even bought a brand new dress for the occasion), but got lost on his way and never made it to the show. Allegedly, he is a former meteorologist (though now retired) and he frequently calls up the local weather forcasters to “rip them a new one because they don’t know what the hell is going on with the weather.”
9) Arty- I mentioned him earlier, but have since learned more about his “situation.” Has an extremely raspy voice. One of the strangest voices I have ever heard. I thought he simply had laryngitis, but I have come to learn that Arty used to have an extremely loud and booming voice until one day when he permanently damaged his voice when he “swallowed some glass.” No one knows why he did this. Even stranger: no one has thought to ask him why.
10) Jerry- A woman. Used to be a man. She is white, but has a black son who is supposedly “a very famous rap artist.” Jerry (who is well over 6 feet tall) is always in the company of a 4’ 8” woman who has a fondness for Tweety Bird. No one knows how they know each other or what they are doing together.
11) One-Nut Jack- No one knows how he came to acquire this name. According to most, he has both of his nuts.
12) Willie- Has a home, but prefers to sleep in a camper parked in the lot next to the garage. This is highly illegal, according to Carter, but Willie insists on crashing there most nights. Carter has even run electricity out to the camper so Willie could have power. Willie works on cars with Carter and has known him for many many years. Has taken a keen interest in me and the Clint story. Told me that he remembers Clint was “very attractive,” but he would be willing to change his own name to Clint if I thought that might help. Also asked me if I wanted “to kill Clint or just do him?”
13) Elvis- 5’1” stocky, slow-witted man. Claims to be an Elvis impersonator, but when asked where he performs, he replied, “In my shower.” Lives in a home he calls, appropriately enough, “Graceland.” According to those who have seen it, it does look somewhat like Graceland but on a much smaller scale. Has been seen around town in full-Elvis attire, but showed up at the garage the day I met him wearing a ripped up T-shirt, shorts, and a fanny pack. Said he would have dressed as Elvis that day, but he hurt his hips and simply had no energy. Did serenade Mr. Carter, Willie, and myself with several Elvis songs while at the shop.
14) Mike- mentioned previously. Cross-dresser. Obsessed with the O.J. Simpson trial. Went to the trial every day while it was going on. Brought three photo albums of pictures to the shop to show me what happened during the trial. Was going to come to my show on Friday night at Kibitz Room (and even bought a brand new dress for the occasion), but got lost on his way and never made it to the show. Allegedly, he is a former meteorologist (though now retired) and he frequently calls up the local weather forcasters to “rip them a new one because they don’t know what the hell is going on with the weather.”
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