Sign of the Times

PEOPLE I HAVE MET WHILE HANGING OUT AT CARTER'S

1) Mike – 6’4” goateed, bald body-builder. Mike is also a transvestite. When I first met Mike, he was wearing a stone-washed denim skirt and a halter top. He drives a 1978 white Cadillac that is as big as a boat. He was recently pulled over because he was fraudulently displaying a registration sticker on his vehicle even though it had not passed the Smog Check for three years. Carter recently worked on his carburetor so that the vehicle might pass the test. Mike loves to ride his bike through the hills at 3am and walked the L.A. marathon last year (sporting a red Hawaiian dress). He would like to go to the beach with Mr. Carter, but Mr. Carter privately told me, “That’s never going to happen. If he’s laying out there in a bikini next to me at the beach where all my friends go, that would be difficult to explain.” I agreed. Mike also loves taser guns and never travels anywhere without at least three of them.

2) Fernandez – Works at one of the shops near Carter’s. Came by to listen to me play guitar one day at the shop. Carter said that he noticed Fernandez trying to look up my skirt the entire time I was playing.

3) Garcia – Works at Louie’s Auto (next to Carter’s). Stops by to say hi frequently. Offers me a Corona or some tequila every time he sees me.

4) Louie – Owns the shop next to Carter’s. Loves to play flamenco guitar. Stopped by to serenade me one day while I was there. Crashed his old Camino into a parked car one day. Bought a station wagon for $250 off of a man named Willie who was being forced to leave the country the next day and needed to “get rid of the car quick.”

5) Arty – Works at one of the garages in the strip. Works for a man named Kojak. Arty is a heroin addict, though according to Carter, Kojak doesn’t know this. Arty asked me how I knew Carter. I told him he was my father. Arty turned to Carter and said, “No shit, Carter. I didn’t know you had a pretty daughter like this.” He turned to me and asked, “What’s your last name?” I replied, “Carter.” He said, “No, that’s his first name.” Carter corrected him and explained, “Around here, everybody goes by their last names.” Arty asked to see my ID. Carter said, “We Carter’s never carry our IDs anywhere. Just in case.” That explanation seemed to satisfy Arty. He said, “Take off your sunglasses. Let me see your eyes.” I did and he said, “Wow…yeah…I can totally see the resemblance.”

6) Mr. X – Lebanese man that sells arms out of the back of his van. Came to the shop to sell Carter a couple of taser guns as well as a few swords. Was bitten by a brown recluse last week and showed up at the shop on Monday in a wheel chair. Carter doesn’t trust him.

7) Jose – The local porn dealer. Has a friend who works in a warehouse where they store porn. Steals it and sells it on the street. Sold Carter 30 pornos for $20. Carter gave me “Hardcore Havansu” because he already had that one. I have not seen it, but MBM took it home and told me “it was just awful.”

8) Hector – The mailman. Comes to the shop just to hang out. Likes my music. Told me that he has seen cops pull up behind Liquid City to down a few beers while on duty. He has also seen cops picking up prostitutes on Sepulveda. “They’re human, afterall,” he says.