Thursday, March 10, 2005
A CLOSE CALL FOR NED THE WINO
Logging: Band Practice 3/9/05 (by Bonney Death)
Whitter, CA
9:05pm
We roll into the alley behind the practice space. There are two cops on bikes and they appear to be arresting someone. Isn't that Craig's nephew?
9:07pm
After parking the car and walking to the space, we discover that it is, indeed, Craig's nephew in handcuffs. And the cops are asking about Craig, who is no where to be seen. But we hear them mention something about the guy who owns the blue van and just ran from them. That is definitely Craig. Well, that's just great. Craig's got the cops looking for him and we've got to practice for a show that is less than 48 hours away.
9:09pm
We enter the practice space and Craig is sitting on the steps inside the building. Apparently, his nephew pissed on the side of the building and that is why he is getting arrested. Craig got out of there just in the nick of time.
9:11pm
Vic walks in. Craig goes down to the room with us so he "won't get in any trouble." Craig claims he didn't do anything suspicious, but it should be noted that as we were walking in, we noticed a "tall boy" of MGD in a paper bag by the gate of the building. Most likely, Craig and his nephew were out there chugging beer like a couple of winos before the cops showed up.
9:12pm
Craig asks Vic to go upstairs and check on his nephew.
9:13pm
Beaver from down the hall walks in. Vic proceeds to show him various surveillence devices, including a clock, smoke detector, watch, pager, and various other items with hidden cameras. Beaver says that he might buy the clock from Vic.
It should be noted that Beaver is wearing a T-shirt that says, "WWMPD: WHAT WOULD MY PENIS DO?"
9:14pm
Beaver states that he "saw the kid outside and I asked the cops to let him go. They said they would if he didn't have any warrents out."
9:15pm
Vic goes to check on Craig's nephew, but he is gone-arrested for pissing. He has apparently "done lots of time," but Craig doesn't believe he has any warrents currently.
9:16pm
Craig asks me to go upstairs with him to get the leather couch that he has for some reason hauled to the practice space tonight.
9:17pm
Beaver tells Deb she needs to get a tan. She explains to him that she cannot tan. He tells her she needs to get one anyway.
9:18pm
Craig and I return with the couch. I'm not really sure where we're supposed to be putting this since there is already so much shit in the room.
9:25pm
Vic is talking about how he almost got shot yesterday in the parking lot of the Pico Sheriff's Office. He claims, "the sheriff came around a van and I was carrying my gun looking for this mother fucker that had beat up one of my clients. The sheriff almost shot me when he saw me with my gun." Well, at least it wasn't the deputy.
9:27pm
Craig comes back in from his van. Apparently, someone has gone through his van. His wallet is emptied and his beer is gone. He believes the cops may have done it. It should be noted that Craig left his van unlocked in the middle of a dark alley. What did you expect, Jackass???
10:00pm
We are still talking about Craig's nephew. It must be noted that Craig just said he had a couple of beers earlier. He is pissed that he will not be able to drink beer at this rehearsal since the cops on bikes stole the beer out of his van.
10:05pm
We are thankful that Craig kept his mouth shut and did not go up to the police to inquire about his nephew. He, too, would have probably then been arrested and thrown in jail as well. Then Deb would have had to go to the show on Friday night to say, "Look, I had a band, really. But my bass player is in jail for drinking beer in the alley behind our practice space."
10:07pm
Thankfully, practice has now begun, but Craig really wants to go down to the police station to bail his nephew out. (With what money??)
BACKLOG: Earlier, Craig was fucking with his amp and wanted to know who had messed with it. Apparently, according to Vic, NO ONE...not surprisingly, Craig, your rig is a piece of shit!!!
10:10pm
Song 2-
BACKLOG: Craig's outfit: jams with a blue flame motif, a white Taylor Constructing Services T-shirt, black leather motorcycle jacket, white socks, green doc marten boots...and of course, all of it DIRTY, including Craig. Damn, that man looks like he hasn't showered in a week...
10:12pm
First broken string of the evening for Craig. It must be noted that on Monday Craig said in reference to breaking strings at the show, "I've got a lot of buddies. I've got basses coming out of my ass like jeans." We do not understand what this is supposed to mean.
10:14pm
Deb said, "It's really hot in here. If I was a man, this is the point where I would take off my shirt." This gets quite the rise from the boys who mutter something about "titties." Deb says (in reference to Craig's 55-year-old girlfriend), "Well, my titties are probably not old enough."
10:16pm
Vic asks Deb and I what kind of guys we like. Deb tells him, "Hot, dark, gothic boys," and then relates the story of the original HIB (Hottie in Black), Tony Belevaqua who now plays rhythm guitar for The Distillers.
10:18pm
What is Craig playing????????????
What key is he in???????? Clearly, not the same one as Deb. A friend is apparently bringing him a few basses for the show. Craig tells Vic that he is getting a Rickenbaucher bass. Vic asks him if he's going to "be tossing that around like the bass you have now." Craig says it depends on if someone pisses him off or not.
NOTE: Instead of actually playing all of "In the End," Craig wants to stop and play "Why?" Craig, you're such a BABY....the key is placation until after the show. Deb, uncharacteristically, says, "sure, whatever you want." Clearly, she is determined to placate him tonight...
10:19pm
Craig apparently had to put a wrong string on his bass because he was out of the right-sized strings. You'd think he would stock up, given the fact he breaks, on average, about three or four strings each practice.
10:30pm
The boys want to learn another song, but Craig wants to leave to go get his nephew. "We'll just learn it tomorrow night." Deb tells him, "absolutely not." (she apparently is beyond the point of placation now). She says, "There is no way we are learning a new song the night before the show." (afterall, it took them six weeks to learn 5 songs).
10:35pm
Deb just broke a string on her guitar. I asked her if her name was Craig.
10:40pm
"Maybe Someday," take 2.
11:00pm
Craig unplugs his bass without a word and begins to pack up his gear. He is leaving to find out what happened to his nephew. He said, "And I had a nice little girl lined up for him for Friday night." Vic asks what her name is. Craig replies, "I don't know...something that starts with a V. Evette, I think." Well, there's a "V" in it. Deb says, "Yeah, and my name begins with an I." Craig says, "She's a medical something or other, but now my nephew went and fucked it all up by pissing on the side of the building."
Vic says that he just broke up with his girlfriend who is apparently a doctor earlier today. Wait a minute, don't you have a wife? What the fuck is going on here?
It should be noted that Craig is not sure whether he should be going down to the police station or not. Vic says, "Well, you don't have any warrents out for your arrest right now, do you?" Craig mumbles something incomprehensible, but does not say "no." Most likely, there is at least one warrent out for Craig.
WILL THE BAND MAKE IT TO THE SHOW ON FRIDAY??? WILL THEY MAKE IT THROUGH THE FINAL REHEARSAL TOMORROW NIGHT??? THIS REMAINS TO BE SEEN...BUT IT WAS DEFINITELY A CLOSE CALL FOR NED THE WINO TONIGHT....
TO BE CONTINUED...
Logging: Band Practice 3/9/05 (by Bonney Death)
Whitter, CA
9:05pm
We roll into the alley behind the practice space. There are two cops on bikes and they appear to be arresting someone. Isn't that Craig's nephew?
9:07pm
After parking the car and walking to the space, we discover that it is, indeed, Craig's nephew in handcuffs. And the cops are asking about Craig, who is no where to be seen. But we hear them mention something about the guy who owns the blue van and just ran from them. That is definitely Craig. Well, that's just great. Craig's got the cops looking for him and we've got to practice for a show that is less than 48 hours away.
9:09pm
We enter the practice space and Craig is sitting on the steps inside the building. Apparently, his nephew pissed on the side of the building and that is why he is getting arrested. Craig got out of there just in the nick of time.
9:11pm
Vic walks in. Craig goes down to the room with us so he "won't get in any trouble." Craig claims he didn't do anything suspicious, but it should be noted that as we were walking in, we noticed a "tall boy" of MGD in a paper bag by the gate of the building. Most likely, Craig and his nephew were out there chugging beer like a couple of winos before the cops showed up.
9:12pm
Craig asks Vic to go upstairs and check on his nephew.
9:13pm
Beaver from down the hall walks in. Vic proceeds to show him various surveillence devices, including a clock, smoke detector, watch, pager, and various other items with hidden cameras. Beaver says that he might buy the clock from Vic.
It should be noted that Beaver is wearing a T-shirt that says, "WWMPD: WHAT WOULD MY PENIS DO?"
9:14pm
Beaver states that he "saw the kid outside and I asked the cops to let him go. They said they would if he didn't have any warrents out."
9:15pm
Vic goes to check on Craig's nephew, but he is gone-arrested for pissing. He has apparently "done lots of time," but Craig doesn't believe he has any warrents currently.
9:16pm
Craig asks me to go upstairs with him to get the leather couch that he has for some reason hauled to the practice space tonight.
9:17pm
Beaver tells Deb she needs to get a tan. She explains to him that she cannot tan. He tells her she needs to get one anyway.
9:18pm
Craig and I return with the couch. I'm not really sure where we're supposed to be putting this since there is already so much shit in the room.
9:25pm
Vic is talking about how he almost got shot yesterday in the parking lot of the Pico Sheriff's Office. He claims, "the sheriff came around a van and I was carrying my gun looking for this mother fucker that had beat up one of my clients. The sheriff almost shot me when he saw me with my gun." Well, at least it wasn't the deputy.
9:27pm
Craig comes back in from his van. Apparently, someone has gone through his van. His wallet is emptied and his beer is gone. He believes the cops may have done it. It should be noted that Craig left his van unlocked in the middle of a dark alley. What did you expect, Jackass???
10:00pm
We are still talking about Craig's nephew. It must be noted that Craig just said he had a couple of beers earlier. He is pissed that he will not be able to drink beer at this rehearsal since the cops on bikes stole the beer out of his van.
10:05pm
We are thankful that Craig kept his mouth shut and did not go up to the police to inquire about his nephew. He, too, would have probably then been arrested and thrown in jail as well. Then Deb would have had to go to the show on Friday night to say, "Look, I had a band, really. But my bass player is in jail for drinking beer in the alley behind our practice space."
10:07pm
Thankfully, practice has now begun, but Craig really wants to go down to the police station to bail his nephew out. (With what money??)
BACKLOG: Earlier, Craig was fucking with his amp and wanted to know who had messed with it. Apparently, according to Vic, NO ONE...not surprisingly, Craig, your rig is a piece of shit!!!
10:10pm
Song 2-
BACKLOG: Craig's outfit: jams with a blue flame motif, a white Taylor Constructing Services T-shirt, black leather motorcycle jacket, white socks, green doc marten boots...and of course, all of it DIRTY, including Craig. Damn, that man looks like he hasn't showered in a week...
10:12pm
First broken string of the evening for Craig. It must be noted that on Monday Craig said in reference to breaking strings at the show, "I've got a lot of buddies. I've got basses coming out of my ass like jeans." We do not understand what this is supposed to mean.
10:14pm
Deb said, "It's really hot in here. If I was a man, this is the point where I would take off my shirt." This gets quite the rise from the boys who mutter something about "titties." Deb says (in reference to Craig's 55-year-old girlfriend), "Well, my titties are probably not old enough."
10:16pm
Vic asks Deb and I what kind of guys we like. Deb tells him, "Hot, dark, gothic boys," and then relates the story of the original HIB (Hottie in Black), Tony Belevaqua who now plays rhythm guitar for The Distillers.
10:18pm
What is Craig playing????????????
What key is he in???????? Clearly, not the same one as Deb. A friend is apparently bringing him a few basses for the show. Craig tells Vic that he is getting a Rickenbaucher bass. Vic asks him if he's going to "be tossing that around like the bass you have now." Craig says it depends on if someone pisses him off or not.
NOTE: Instead of actually playing all of "In the End," Craig wants to stop and play "Why?" Craig, you're such a BABY....the key is placation until after the show. Deb, uncharacteristically, says, "sure, whatever you want." Clearly, she is determined to placate him tonight...
10:19pm
Craig apparently had to put a wrong string on his bass because he was out of the right-sized strings. You'd think he would stock up, given the fact he breaks, on average, about three or four strings each practice.
10:30pm
The boys want to learn another song, but Craig wants to leave to go get his nephew. "We'll just learn it tomorrow night." Deb tells him, "absolutely not." (she apparently is beyond the point of placation now). She says, "There is no way we are learning a new song the night before the show." (afterall, it took them six weeks to learn 5 songs).
10:35pm
Deb just broke a string on her guitar. I asked her if her name was Craig.
10:40pm
"Maybe Someday," take 2.
11:00pm
Craig unplugs his bass without a word and begins to pack up his gear. He is leaving to find out what happened to his nephew. He said, "And I had a nice little girl lined up for him for Friday night." Vic asks what her name is. Craig replies, "I don't know...something that starts with a V. Evette, I think." Well, there's a "V" in it. Deb says, "Yeah, and my name begins with an I." Craig says, "She's a medical something or other, but now my nephew went and fucked it all up by pissing on the side of the building."
Vic says that he just broke up with his girlfriend who is apparently a doctor earlier today. Wait a minute, don't you have a wife? What the fuck is going on here?
It should be noted that Craig is not sure whether he should be going down to the police station or not. Vic says, "Well, you don't have any warrents out for your arrest right now, do you?" Craig mumbles something incomprehensible, but does not say "no." Most likely, there is at least one warrent out for Craig.
WILL THE BAND MAKE IT TO THE SHOW ON FRIDAY??? WILL THEY MAKE IT THROUGH THE FINAL REHEARSAL TOMORROW NIGHT??? THIS REMAINS TO BE SEEN...BUT IT WAS DEFINITELY A CLOSE CALL FOR NED THE WINO TONIGHT....
TO BE CONTINUED...
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