Sign of the Times

"SHOWIN' UP AT PRACTICE...SMELLIN' LIKE 'NED THE WINO'..."

So, for those of you who are wondering about my post from yesterday...about firing the bass player...well, here are the reasons...at the present moment, I am all fired up, but rest assured, I will not do anything rash...and I am going to keep him, at least through the show on the 11th of March because god knows it's hard to find a bass player in this town...and one that's willing to play only for free beer...

Anyway, Craig shows up yesterday 45 minutes late to rehearsal...and I really wish you could see this guy because there is just one word to describe EVERYTHING about him...SLOPPY!!!

From his clothes, to his hair, to his gear, to his language, to his person...he is just SLOPPY and DIRTY...

The bass seems like he has not put new strings on it in years...it needs desperately to be intonated...it is going out of tune after every song...he doesn't have a tuner...he makes me give him an "A" between songs so he can retune the bass...he chain smokes all through rehearsal...he doesn't listen...he doesn't listen to the CDs I give him...he plays way too loud and jumps around and carries on...

Which is all okay...okay...this is rock and roll...this is punk...this is badass... I know...

But, Christ, get it together, man...

So, he and I have been rehearsing "Didn't Mean a Thing" for the past two months...yeah, granted, this was only the third rehearsal with Vic, the drummer...but Craig has had the charts and the demo for this song for over two months...and he is still making mistakes and always in the same place...never correcting them...leading me to believe, "perhaps, he cannot even hear these mistakes"

So, we finish the song, and I spin around, turn to him and ask, "Can you hear what is coming out of my amp?"

And he's like, "Yeah."

And I'm like, "Then so why is what you are playing not matching what I am playing..."

So, I try to explain to him that he is messing up this one chord...but it is ALWAYS in the same place and it sounds bad...and he is just like, "Whatever. I think we need to work on dynamics because I am getting bored just playing this song over and over."

OK...that is my one pet peeve with music...if you don't have the fucking chords down yet, then the last thing we should be talking about is arrangement...get the song down and then we'll fix the rest...

So, I just go off and start yelling...and he is like, "Relax..."

"I AM FUCKING RELAXED!!!" I yell and I storm out of the room.

I go down the hall because I am about to lose it even more and start ripping stuff apart...I have been over this same part with him for two months and he just can't get it right...and it is not that he CAN'T...it is just that he is too sloppy to try to make it perfect...and that is what I demand...

So, he follows me out in the hall and is yelling about, "Don't you walk away from me!! That doesn't work on me!!"

So, we get into this yelling match...and he is just like, "Hit me...take your best shot...punch me right in the face...I can take it..."

So, I slam my fist into the wall next to him...and he's just like, "Look, I blow people off...that's what I do, don't take it personally..."

So, I go off on him again...and then at some point, I calm down and he's just like, "It's a good thing we're not drunk at a bar because I would make you kiss me..."

OK...Yeah, that'll be the day...

So, we go back to rehearsal and he does better, but he is still missing some of the parts...
At the end, he leaves and says, "We have to reschedule rehearsal on Sunday because of the Super Bowl...can you come in at 8am?"

And I am just like, "I am NOT fucking coming in here at 8am just so you can go home and get trashed and watch the superbowl..."

So, I guess we're just going to have to toss rehearsal away on Sunday...because afterall, it's only one Sunday and it is the Superbowl...but Jesus Christ...

Vic and Craig were in a band together back in the day...Vic and I are talking after rehearsal and he is telling me about how that's why they threw Craig out of their last band..."you know he comes in here smellin' just like 'Ned the Wino' thinking that he can play bass like that but it just makes him loud and sloppy..."

But Vic told me, "I didn't think it could get worse, but after we fired Craig the guy who replaced him...Holy Moly...he was a trip...heroin and coke addict, schizophrenic...and violent...so, it could be worse..."

And I know this...it is hard to find a bass player who will play for free and can actually play and who actually likes the music...so, I am going to have to give him another chance...if it means sitting down with him for a few hours alone apart from the band to work on parts and make sure he has everything down, that is what it has to be...and I mean, the guy is a good bass player...he just needs to not drink as much and practice a little more...

We've got this show on March 11th...we've got to get it together...but god, keep that free beer at the Kibitz away from him until after the show...