Tuesday, June 29, 2004
"BAD SPIRITUAL ENERGY"
Today, I was accused of having bad spiritual energy. By a woman who claims to be a devout evangelical Christian. This is a woman who brought her daughter to the clinic. I tested her daughter last week, and her daughter really seemed to take a liking to me, though I noticed that the mother was just glaring at me every time that I let her daughter out for a break. Talk about bad energy...
Anyway, she came in for a consultation with the clinic director this afternoon, and that's when she asked how much of the clinician's personal spiritual beliefs would be brought into the session because they are devout Christians and try to raise their daughter right. They are concerned about me because I wear too much black and they believe that I may dabble in the occult. Besides that, there was a black cat on the lapel of my blouse that day...and we all know what that means...I must be a devil worshipper or worse, a witch...
The clinic director told her that I was the best clinician they had, but the woman actually requested that I be no where near her daughter because she was afraid of the bad influence I might have on her...
NICE...
ONLY IN THIS CONSERVATIVE WHITE TRASH TOWN...
Today, I was accused of having bad spiritual energy. By a woman who claims to be a devout evangelical Christian. This is a woman who brought her daughter to the clinic. I tested her daughter last week, and her daughter really seemed to take a liking to me, though I noticed that the mother was just glaring at me every time that I let her daughter out for a break. Talk about bad energy...
Anyway, she came in for a consultation with the clinic director this afternoon, and that's when she asked how much of the clinician's personal spiritual beliefs would be brought into the session because they are devout Christians and try to raise their daughter right. They are concerned about me because I wear too much black and they believe that I may dabble in the occult. Besides that, there was a black cat on the lapel of my blouse that day...and we all know what that means...I must be a devil worshipper or worse, a witch...
The clinic director told her that I was the best clinician they had, but the woman actually requested that I be no where near her daughter because she was afraid of the bad influence I might have on her...
NICE...
ONLY IN THIS CONSERVATIVE WHITE TRASH TOWN...
Monday, June 28, 2004
HANGING AT THE JEANIE JOHNSON ON A MONDAY NIGHT...
With the regulars...a man is there ranting and raving about god knows what while his friends are laughing at him, not with him...
Beth turns to me and says, "This is one of those moments you wish you could take back..."
With the regulars...a man is there ranting and raving about god knows what while his friends are laughing at him, not with him...
Beth turns to me and says, "This is one of those moments you wish you could take back..."
Sunday, June 27, 2004
ANOTHER BRILLIANT IDEA
We start a television program modelled after Animal Planet's "The Croc Hunter"
Only this time, it is mullets that we are hunting...My brother, of course, will play the role of "The Mullet Hunter" since he has always been quite good at spotting and analyzing the different types and breeds of mullets...
DING!!!
We start a television program modelled after Animal Planet's "The Croc Hunter"
Only this time, it is mullets that we are hunting...My brother, of course, will play the role of "The Mullet Hunter" since he has always been quite good at spotting and analyzing the different types and breeds of mullets...
DING!!!
HATE IS NOT A FAMILY VALUE
I couldn't believe it...Beth and I were going to Manray on Friday night and we were taking the Red Line from Downtown Crossing to Central Square (which is another story altogether considering we were trapped underground in the sweltering heat for about 20 minutes waiting for a train because the brilliant MBTA decided to start expressing trains to Harvard Square)...
Anyway, finally, the train came and we got on with about 100 other people and pushed our way to the back of the train so we would be away from the doors...there were two middle eastern young guys sitting near us...all was well for a while, until the woman sitting next to them turned to them and asked, "You speak English?" I think they thought she was asking if they were speaking English at that very moment (which they weren't) so the one guy told her no. She exclaimed, "You don't speak any English at all?" The other guy, realizing the misunderstanding, said, "yeah we do. We're just not at the moment." She was like, "First you say you don't speak English, now you tell me that you do."
Then she goes into this tirade about how she can't understand why the fuck they would be in this country if they weren't even going to speak English (I didn't realize that we had an official national language) and about how she just doesn't trust anybody "who don't speak no English" (it sounds like you barely can either, bitch).
She was getting really belligerent and offensive and Beth and I were feeling really bad for these guys...I started making loud comments about how I had never seen so much hate and how I didn't realize that people like this really existed. Then I busted out with "Hate is not a family value." And Beth started talking about how "GW would not approve of this." Which was cracking most of the people up who were standing around us on the train...
At one point, the woman starting yelling about how they were bothering her and how they should mind their own business, to which Beth finally turned to her and said, "They were just sitting here having a conversation, minding their own business. You're the one bothering everyone." She got all pissed off about this and said, "Mind your own business, bitch..."
Finally, the train got to Central and she got off (as well as us)...we waved to the guys and they seemed to appreciate that at least there are a few people in the world willing to stand up and say that "this aggression would not stand..."
And we wonder why people from other countries hate Americans...
I couldn't believe it...Beth and I were going to Manray on Friday night and we were taking the Red Line from Downtown Crossing to Central Square (which is another story altogether considering we were trapped underground in the sweltering heat for about 20 minutes waiting for a train because the brilliant MBTA decided to start expressing trains to Harvard Square)...
Anyway, finally, the train came and we got on with about 100 other people and pushed our way to the back of the train so we would be away from the doors...there were two middle eastern young guys sitting near us...all was well for a while, until the woman sitting next to them turned to them and asked, "You speak English?" I think they thought she was asking if they were speaking English at that very moment (which they weren't) so the one guy told her no. She exclaimed, "You don't speak any English at all?" The other guy, realizing the misunderstanding, said, "yeah we do. We're just not at the moment." She was like, "First you say you don't speak English, now you tell me that you do."
Then she goes into this tirade about how she can't understand why the fuck they would be in this country if they weren't even going to speak English (I didn't realize that we had an official national language) and about how she just doesn't trust anybody "who don't speak no English" (it sounds like you barely can either, bitch).
She was getting really belligerent and offensive and Beth and I were feeling really bad for these guys...I started making loud comments about how I had never seen so much hate and how I didn't realize that people like this really existed. Then I busted out with "Hate is not a family value." And Beth started talking about how "GW would not approve of this." Which was cracking most of the people up who were standing around us on the train...
At one point, the woman starting yelling about how they were bothering her and how they should mind their own business, to which Beth finally turned to her and said, "They were just sitting here having a conversation, minding their own business. You're the one bothering everyone." She got all pissed off about this and said, "Mind your own business, bitch..."
Finally, the train got to Central and she got off (as well as us)...we waved to the guys and they seemed to appreciate that at least there are a few people in the world willing to stand up and say that "this aggression would not stand..."
And we wonder why people from other countries hate Americans...
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Tippy and I finally found Theresa Hines's Beacon Street condominium tonight...after a sweep past it (and after being spotted by her plain-clothes security guard), we feel that our phones may be tapped and the secret service may be tracing our wear-a-bouts...
The plan for next week is to return to the scene once more with a megaphone and camcorder...we will then proceed to yell into the megaphone, "Theresa, Theresa...come out...we have wine..."
It has been hypothesized that this may then prompt Theresa to throw an empty bottle of wine down at us on the street due to the unfortunate fact that we have disturbed her drunken stupor...
The plan for next week is to return to the scene once more with a megaphone and camcorder...we will then proceed to yell into the megaphone, "Theresa, Theresa...come out...we have wine..."
It has been hypothesized that this may then prompt Theresa to throw an empty bottle of wine down at us on the street due to the unfortunate fact that we have disturbed her drunken stupor...
Saturday, June 19, 2004
CONSERVATISM
While riding on the Red Line yesterday night going to Manray (so, of course, we were dressed all goth), we had a "run-in" with a few of the "better people" of this world. There was an extremely conservative looking young married couple sitting on the train across from us. The girl kept staring, then she'd whisper something to her husband, and they'd both start giggling and then he'd stare and whisper something to her and they'd laugh it up. This continued on for a period of time, at which point I had had enough, so I looked right at her and said, "I know, we're so fucking funny," and then burst into peals of laughter myself. She looked away and pretended that she didn't know I was talking to her. Every once in a while, she or her husband would look back at us quickly, and then I would say something like "it's a good thing I'm learning martial arts," or "I like breaking boards, but cracking skulls is even better," or "yeah, I know laugh it up...people that look like us are just so goddamn funny."
At one point, Beth turned to me and said, "I think she may be his mail-order bride." And that is, indeed, what it did look like. And maybe the two of them had never seen people who looked like us. That may happen to those trapped in a conservative world. However, I must say, someone recently did call me both conservative and traditional...which, as all of you know, simply couldn't be any further from the truth.
Regardless, at the end of our journey, as we were getting off the train at Central Square, I said to the guy, "I'm glad we could be of entertainment to you tonight." He turned bright red, and looked away quickly.
Once again, working on our summer goal: instilling fear in those we meet...
While riding on the Red Line yesterday night going to Manray (so, of course, we were dressed all goth), we had a "run-in" with a few of the "better people" of this world. There was an extremely conservative looking young married couple sitting on the train across from us. The girl kept staring, then she'd whisper something to her husband, and they'd both start giggling and then he'd stare and whisper something to her and they'd laugh it up. This continued on for a period of time, at which point I had had enough, so I looked right at her and said, "I know, we're so fucking funny," and then burst into peals of laughter myself. She looked away and pretended that she didn't know I was talking to her. Every once in a while, she or her husband would look back at us quickly, and then I would say something like "it's a good thing I'm learning martial arts," or "I like breaking boards, but cracking skulls is even better," or "yeah, I know laugh it up...people that look like us are just so goddamn funny."
At one point, Beth turned to me and said, "I think she may be his mail-order bride." And that is, indeed, what it did look like. And maybe the two of them had never seen people who looked like us. That may happen to those trapped in a conservative world. However, I must say, someone recently did call me both conservative and traditional...which, as all of you know, simply couldn't be any further from the truth.
Regardless, at the end of our journey, as we were getting off the train at Central Square, I said to the guy, "I'm glad we could be of entertainment to you tonight." He turned bright red, and looked away quickly.
Once again, working on our summer goal: instilling fear in those we meet...
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
HOW'S THIS FOR PRODUCTIVE USE OF BRAIN POWER??
We buy out Alcatraz (afterall, it's just been sitting there for years abandoned and haunted).
And we convert it into a bed-and-breakfast...to which we send all of the recalled governors to work as bell hops??
I mean, "The Governator" may be just a dumb sex-offender, but he is strong...we can't deny him that...
And he would be good at lifting heavy luggage...
DING!!!!
We buy out Alcatraz (afterall, it's just been sitting there for years abandoned and haunted).
And we convert it into a bed-and-breakfast...to which we send all of the recalled governors to work as bell hops??
I mean, "The Governator" may be just a dumb sex-offender, but he is strong...we can't deny him that...
And he would be good at lifting heavy luggage...
DING!!!!
DING! DING! DING!
As some of you may know, certain members of my clan now carry bells with them (the kind that you might once have seen in a hotel lobby at the concierge desk when you were demanding service)...
so, that we can sound the bell, whenever we have a brilliant idea...
The bell thing is inspired, of course, by Kramer (as are all of our most brilliant ideas)...after his work with Kramerica Industries...
We have taken this bell to businesses and bars, alike, over the past few days. It often creates many puzzled looks as people turn our way when they hear the bell ringing...on many more than one occasion, it has lead to looks of annoyance and even anger...
Which is simply just one more reason to leave...
Tippy was asked at the James Gate Pub tonight on South Street in Jamaica Plain: "What's up with that bell?"
Without thinking, he went into an explanation of it's true nature...However, the rehearsed response when someone asks such a question is supposed to be: "Ain't no law against ringin' a bell."
The question we're faced with today, however, is: Is there or is there not a law against ringing a bell in the state of Massachusetts in private and/or public areas? If anyone has any ideas whatsoever on this matter, please let us know at once...
As some of you may know, certain members of my clan now carry bells with them (the kind that you might once have seen in a hotel lobby at the concierge desk when you were demanding service)...
so, that we can sound the bell, whenever we have a brilliant idea...
The bell thing is inspired, of course, by Kramer (as are all of our most brilliant ideas)...after his work with Kramerica Industries...
We have taken this bell to businesses and bars, alike, over the past few days. It often creates many puzzled looks as people turn our way when they hear the bell ringing...on many more than one occasion, it has lead to looks of annoyance and even anger...
Which is simply just one more reason to leave...
Tippy was asked at the James Gate Pub tonight on South Street in Jamaica Plain: "What's up with that bell?"
Without thinking, he went into an explanation of it's true nature...However, the rehearsed response when someone asks such a question is supposed to be: "Ain't no law against ringin' a bell."
The question we're faced with today, however, is: Is there or is there not a law against ringing a bell in the state of Massachusetts in private and/or public areas? If anyone has any ideas whatsoever on this matter, please let us know at once...
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
DING!!!!
So, the newest brilliant idea...
Tippy and I have decided to lure Teresa Hines out of her Beacon Street condominium using a bull horn and a bottle of wine...and the offer of some ecstacy...
We will then invite her (but not John Kerry) to Dedo for show tunes night where we will proceed to wine and dine her...
At which point, she will be inclined to enter into a torrid affair with Tippy...which I will consequently be taping (using my new digital camcorder...i knew there was a reason I bought it)...
When Teresa discovers that we have taped the whole affair, she will have no choice but to appoint Tippy to a position in the White House (lest John find out about the affair)...at which point, we will be one step closer to having Captain Tippy Yunnan as our president...
Once in office, we have several goals...including a plan to paint the White House either red or black...afterall, we don't think much of the color white...
So, the newest brilliant idea...
Tippy and I have decided to lure Teresa Hines out of her Beacon Street condominium using a bull horn and a bottle of wine...and the offer of some ecstacy...
We will then invite her (but not John Kerry) to Dedo for show tunes night where we will proceed to wine and dine her...
At which point, she will be inclined to enter into a torrid affair with Tippy...which I will consequently be taping (using my new digital camcorder...i knew there was a reason I bought it)...
When Teresa discovers that we have taped the whole affair, she will have no choice but to appoint Tippy to a position in the White House (lest John find out about the affair)...at which point, we will be one step closer to having Captain Tippy Yunnan as our president...
Once in office, we have several goals...including a plan to paint the White House either red or black...afterall, we don't think much of the color white...
Monday, June 14, 2004
THROUGH HELL AND HIGH WATER...
Well, to start out, this day does end on a happy note. After three years of gruelling surgery, I finally have my tooth.
But I did have to go through hell and high water to get it. My day began at the laundromat...where I was madly cleaning all of my sheets knowing that there would be a handful of people staying over on Saturday after drinking themselves silly at the Halloween party. It was at the laundromat that a man...well, I would really call him more of a gansta (dressed in a full white Fila running suit)...named Tristan began hitting on me. The pick-up line this time was, "So do you know anyone who does Percoset." I responded with a resounding "no" though I will add that I have been known to take Percoset from time to time...though I think that is for different reasons than this particular gentleman was questioning me about.
After that, I went to the post office and then was headed to the dentist's office in Newton. Not far from my house, a madman (who looked quite inebriated, I might add) driving a large silver jalopy cut me off by trying to make a right turn from the left lane. I veered into the curb going about 25 or 30 mph. Now, usually, when you hit a curb at that speed, the tire explodes immediately (I have witnessed this on more than one occasion). However, my tire thankfully seemed okay and I proceeded to drive the next four miles without incident on my way to Newton. About a mile from Newton Center, the tire finally blows. I then am forced to abandon my vehicle on the side of Beacon Street and then sprint to Newton Center so that I will not miss this appointment (since this is a moment I have been waiting for for the past three years)...
After the appointment, I go back to the car and call AAA who inform me that my membership was cancelled in October, which seems very strange to me, considering the fact I have been using it for the last nine months...consequently, I was forced to renew the membership over the phone...about ten minutes later, a dispatcher calls me back to inform me that the corner I am standing on does not exist...so we hem and haw over that for awhile and I repeatedly inform her that I am standing on this very corner looking at both signs...and I do not believe that I am at the nexus of the universe...she finally says, "Miss, there is no corner Bacon St. and Dalton St. in Newton...
Well, there's your problem...I said BEACON St. and Dalton St. about a million times...finally, they appear to have this all straightened out and are able to call me my tow truck...he arrives, puts the spare on...
But now, I am sitting here at home with the spare still on the car because the service station does not have the tire and there is no one there that I can talk to about ordering one until tomorrow morning at 6am...
As if that were not enough, as I am coming up to my building, Ronnie from upstairs, screeches out the window, "Here comes the witch, here comes the witch..." and then begins laughing maniacally...
After video logging a commentary of this already very eventful day, I am getting reading to meet Chan, Alan, and Beth for some food and spirits...
I have my tooth, a flat tire, I'm hungry, and I need a stiff drink...
More later
Well, to start out, this day does end on a happy note. After three years of gruelling surgery, I finally have my tooth.
But I did have to go through hell and high water to get it. My day began at the laundromat...where I was madly cleaning all of my sheets knowing that there would be a handful of people staying over on Saturday after drinking themselves silly at the Halloween party. It was at the laundromat that a man...well, I would really call him more of a gansta (dressed in a full white Fila running suit)...named Tristan began hitting on me. The pick-up line this time was, "So do you know anyone who does Percoset." I responded with a resounding "no" though I will add that I have been known to take Percoset from time to time...though I think that is for different reasons than this particular gentleman was questioning me about.
After that, I went to the post office and then was headed to the dentist's office in Newton. Not far from my house, a madman (who looked quite inebriated, I might add) driving a large silver jalopy cut me off by trying to make a right turn from the left lane. I veered into the curb going about 25 or 30 mph. Now, usually, when you hit a curb at that speed, the tire explodes immediately (I have witnessed this on more than one occasion). However, my tire thankfully seemed okay and I proceeded to drive the next four miles without incident on my way to Newton. About a mile from Newton Center, the tire finally blows. I then am forced to abandon my vehicle on the side of Beacon Street and then sprint to Newton Center so that I will not miss this appointment (since this is a moment I have been waiting for for the past three years)...
After the appointment, I go back to the car and call AAA who inform me that my membership was cancelled in October, which seems very strange to me, considering the fact I have been using it for the last nine months...consequently, I was forced to renew the membership over the phone...about ten minutes later, a dispatcher calls me back to inform me that the corner I am standing on does not exist...so we hem and haw over that for awhile and I repeatedly inform her that I am standing on this very corner looking at both signs...and I do not believe that I am at the nexus of the universe...she finally says, "Miss, there is no corner Bacon St. and Dalton St. in Newton...
Well, there's your problem...I said BEACON St. and Dalton St. about a million times...finally, they appear to have this all straightened out and are able to call me my tow truck...he arrives, puts the spare on...
But now, I am sitting here at home with the spare still on the car because the service station does not have the tire and there is no one there that I can talk to about ordering one until tomorrow morning at 6am...
As if that were not enough, as I am coming up to my building, Ronnie from upstairs, screeches out the window, "Here comes the witch, here comes the witch..." and then begins laughing maniacally...
After video logging a commentary of this already very eventful day, I am getting reading to meet Chan, Alan, and Beth for some food and spirits...
I have my tooth, a flat tire, I'm hungry, and I need a stiff drink...
More later
Sunday, June 13, 2004
PURE FUCKING INSANITY
So, we get invited to this party last night by these guys at the Jeanie Johnston who were apparently intrigued by our video camera. We decide to go...it might be fun. Turned out to be five guys playing foosball, one of which was asleep on the couch the entire time and a girl that they knew. She turned out to be the coolest one there and was actually wearing a red evening gown she had found on the side of the road on their way home from the bar.
Now, the party was kind of lame, though definitely not without its drama. On the way out, we realized that the guys inside had stolen a pack of cigarettes from us. Beth got pissed and decided that she needed to steal something from them that was of equal or greater value. There really wasn't anything there on the porch, so she grabbed a big glass jug and started walking away with it. The next thing we know, she's hit in the back by a wrench that one of these people apparently threw at her from the 3rd floor balcony. She drops the jug, which shatters all over the porch and then she falls down a flight of stairs...she could barely walk home. This morning, I seriously thought we were going to have to take her to the hospital because I thought her foot was broken. Luckily, it's probably just sprained and she had to ice it all day. We did take the wrench with us because 1) it is probably worth the half pack of cigarettes that was stolen; and 2) it is incriminating evidence.
If only my battery hadn't died on my camcorder by that point because this whole incident sure as hell would have been something worth capturing on film.
So, we get invited to this party last night by these guys at the Jeanie Johnston who were apparently intrigued by our video camera. We decide to go...it might be fun. Turned out to be five guys playing foosball, one of which was asleep on the couch the entire time and a girl that they knew. She turned out to be the coolest one there and was actually wearing a red evening gown she had found on the side of the road on their way home from the bar.
Now, the party was kind of lame, though definitely not without its drama. On the way out, we realized that the guys inside had stolen a pack of cigarettes from us. Beth got pissed and decided that she needed to steal something from them that was of equal or greater value. There really wasn't anything there on the porch, so she grabbed a big glass jug and started walking away with it. The next thing we know, she's hit in the back by a wrench that one of these people apparently threw at her from the 3rd floor balcony. She drops the jug, which shatters all over the porch and then she falls down a flight of stairs...she could barely walk home. This morning, I seriously thought we were going to have to take her to the hospital because I thought her foot was broken. Luckily, it's probably just sprained and she had to ice it all day. We did take the wrench with us because 1) it is probably worth the half pack of cigarettes that was stolen; and 2) it is incriminating evidence.
If only my battery hadn't died on my camcorder by that point because this whole incident sure as hell would have been something worth capturing on film.
TRULY, A SIGN Of THE TIMES
Well, I have beat you all...
You thought you had one up on me when you switched to web blogging (from my paper and pencil journal)
But now, I have one up on you
Today, I purchased a digital camcorder...which means that not only am I able to paper and web log, I am now able to video log as well...which Beth and I have both decided is the king/queen of all logging...
we of course had to venture out this evening with our purchase and would like to inform you all that we may have witnessed the scene of the second coming of christ...while walking down Cambridge Street outside of Harvard Square, we spotted a single crutch leaning against a tree..
If christ truly is often spotted on a crutch, then we are sure to have witnessed the second after he abandoned it...
Beth and I also find it extremely ironic, that he conveniently chose the day of his second coming to correspond with pride day in Boston...
If (as we believe) this is more than a mere coincidence, the Catholic church may seriously have to reconsider it's position on gay/lesbian marriage...
Afterall, if Jesus is returning on pride day...he can't think that it is too bad...
Well, I have beat you all...
You thought you had one up on me when you switched to web blogging (from my paper and pencil journal)
But now, I have one up on you
Today, I purchased a digital camcorder...which means that not only am I able to paper and web log, I am now able to video log as well...which Beth and I have both decided is the king/queen of all logging...
we of course had to venture out this evening with our purchase and would like to inform you all that we may have witnessed the scene of the second coming of christ...while walking down Cambridge Street outside of Harvard Square, we spotted a single crutch leaning against a tree..
If christ truly is often spotted on a crutch, then we are sure to have witnessed the second after he abandoned it...
Beth and I also find it extremely ironic, that he conveniently chose the day of his second coming to correspond with pride day in Boston...
If (as we believe) this is more than a mere coincidence, the Catholic church may seriously have to reconsider it's position on gay/lesbian marriage...
Afterall, if Jesus is returning on pride day...he can't think that it is too bad...
I mean, here's the thing, Anonymous...
I can't believe that anything on this log is directed soley at you...and therefore, you should have no reason to be visiting my site daily to tell me what a fucking bitch I am
Honestly, you claim to care too little and be too nonchalant to really care what I do or say
If you don't like it, fucking stop reading it...honestly, that's all I have to say about that...
I can't believe that anything on this log is directed soley at you...and therefore, you should have no reason to be visiting my site daily to tell me what a fucking bitch I am
Honestly, you claim to care too little and be too nonchalant to really care what I do or say
If you don't like it, fucking stop reading it...honestly, that's all I have to say about that...
Saturday, June 12, 2004
RED LIGHT DISTRICT
Well, I am beginning to wonder if the corner of Huntington Ave and Gainsborourough Street is actually a prominent spot for women of the night...
Like what happened six weeks again, I was once again propostioned not only once, but twice on that corner while waiting for the Night Owl bus tonight...
At one point, a car load of men pulled up and asked me how much I would cost for the night...
When I informed them that I would cost more than it would cost to replace the teeth they were sure to lose were they to harass me much longer, they promptly left...
However, the question still remains: Do I look like a prostitute? And if yes, when did the corner of Huntington and Gainsborough turn into a red light district??
Well, I am beginning to wonder if the corner of Huntington Ave and Gainsborourough Street is actually a prominent spot for women of the night...
Like what happened six weeks again, I was once again propostioned not only once, but twice on that corner while waiting for the Night Owl bus tonight...
At one point, a car load of men pulled up and asked me how much I would cost for the night...
When I informed them that I would cost more than it would cost to replace the teeth they were sure to lose were they to harass me much longer, they promptly left...
However, the question still remains: Do I look like a prostitute? And if yes, when did the corner of Huntington and Gainsborough turn into a red light district??
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
WELL, WeLL, WELL...
Once upon a time, I asked for a nemesis...
I don't think I have found anyone worthy of that title yet, but I do appear to have an enemy...
some fucking yellow-belly sloth is posting hate mail anonomously to me...
Check out the recent anonymous comments on my last two posts...
if anyone has any ideas on how to dispose of such a being, please let me know...nightshade really only works when you know who the person is...
P.S. If you think noone wants to read this you scurvy bastard, why are you???
Once upon a time, I asked for a nemesis...
I don't think I have found anyone worthy of that title yet, but I do appear to have an enemy...
some fucking yellow-belly sloth is posting hate mail anonomously to me...
Check out the recent anonymous comments on my last two posts...
if anyone has any ideas on how to dispose of such a being, please let me know...nightshade really only works when you know who the person is...
P.S. If you think noone wants to read this you scurvy bastard, why are you???
Monday, June 07, 2004
Well, I think I've scared the realtors off...
I may never see them again, though undoubtedly, they will find some way to rent this apartment to some poor, unsuspecting soul...
I'm not really sure which of my various comments finally did it...perhaps, it was when I pulled one girl aside in front of the realor and said, "you know, I feel I really must tell you since I wish someone had told me...the people upstairs are raging alcoholics...and the police are here several times a week...to break up all the fighting..." Just thought you should know...if you like peace and quiet, this is not the apartment for you...
Or perhaps it was when I informed one girl that the reason there was a New York Police lock on the door was because the apartment had been broken into...and that we did suspect someone from this building...the realtor and future tenant looked at me in horror, and he said (I'm sure to try and salvage this possible sale), "well, I'm sure they caught the person." I said, "well, actually, two other apartments in the complex were broken into in the same way in the last month..." He looked even more horrified and to try and further smooth over this quickly sinking sale, said, "well, I'm sure they'll catch him soon..." Whatever, dude, admit it...this is one mother fucking sketchy place...needless to say, that girl did not choose the sign the lease...
Or perhaps what finally did it was when I informed the two girls who viewed the apartment yesterday that they should be careful because we suspect that the man upstairs has a gun since he once offered to loan it to us...
Whatever the reason, the realtors have started showing the apartment when I am not here...I figure that they must think that is the only way they are going to move this hell hole off the market...I mean, don't get me wrong, everyone who has been here knows the actual apartment is beautiful, but consider the environment...I feel it is only my duty to warn people what they may or may not be getting themselves into...especially since Samia traps you once you're in here and makes it downright impossible to break your lease...
Add into all of this the fact that I called the realty company up late Saturday night and ranted and raved about how I was pissed off about the fact they failed to lock my apartment all the way back up after they showed it and let my cat out into the hall...
Yeah, I think they've come to realize that I'm pretty crazy at this point and are steering clear of me...
Once again, suggesting that each day, I am coming closer and closer to achieving my summer goal of instilling fear in as many people as possible...
I may never see them again, though undoubtedly, they will find some way to rent this apartment to some poor, unsuspecting soul...
I'm not really sure which of my various comments finally did it...perhaps, it was when I pulled one girl aside in front of the realor and said, "you know, I feel I really must tell you since I wish someone had told me...the people upstairs are raging alcoholics...and the police are here several times a week...to break up all the fighting..." Just thought you should know...if you like peace and quiet, this is not the apartment for you...
Or perhaps it was when I informed one girl that the reason there was a New York Police lock on the door was because the apartment had been broken into...and that we did suspect someone from this building...the realtor and future tenant looked at me in horror, and he said (I'm sure to try and salvage this possible sale), "well, I'm sure they caught the person." I said, "well, actually, two other apartments in the complex were broken into in the same way in the last month..." He looked even more horrified and to try and further smooth over this quickly sinking sale, said, "well, I'm sure they'll catch him soon..." Whatever, dude, admit it...this is one mother fucking sketchy place...needless to say, that girl did not choose the sign the lease...
Or perhaps what finally did it was when I informed the two girls who viewed the apartment yesterday that they should be careful because we suspect that the man upstairs has a gun since he once offered to loan it to us...
Whatever the reason, the realtors have started showing the apartment when I am not here...I figure that they must think that is the only way they are going to move this hell hole off the market...I mean, don't get me wrong, everyone who has been here knows the actual apartment is beautiful, but consider the environment...I feel it is only my duty to warn people what they may or may not be getting themselves into...especially since Samia traps you once you're in here and makes it downright impossible to break your lease...
Add into all of this the fact that I called the realty company up late Saturday night and ranted and raved about how I was pissed off about the fact they failed to lock my apartment all the way back up after they showed it and let my cat out into the hall...
Yeah, I think they've come to realize that I'm pretty crazy at this point and are steering clear of me...
Once again, suggesting that each day, I am coming closer and closer to achieving my summer goal of instilling fear in as many people as possible...
Thursday, June 03, 2004
My fucking god...
On the way home from work today, I thought I was back in Indiana for a brief moment...the huge fucking Ford 350S pick-up truck in front of me had a decal painted to the back of it...big fucking Tazmanian Devil pushing a wheelbarrow full of steaming shit...and this was in Brookline, no less...proving that white trash truly can be found anywhere...
On the way home from work today, I thought I was back in Indiana for a brief moment...the huge fucking Ford 350S pick-up truck in front of me had a decal painted to the back of it...big fucking Tazmanian Devil pushing a wheelbarrow full of steaming shit...and this was in Brookline, no less...proving that white trash truly can be found anywhere...
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
THE BEST BIRTH CONTROL IN THE WORLD
Well, I've found the best birth control in the world...working at Lindamood Bell for the summer with all of those fucking little spoiled brat kids...
I think it would make anyone reconsider parenthood...
My day today started out with Alex, this little 7 year old girl, who was spread eagle on the floor for the entire hour we spent together because she didn't want to do any work...When she started licking the floor, I truly lost it...
After that, a child locked herself in the bathroom for 15 minutes because she told me "I don't have to do anything you say and I hate you..."
If that weren't enough, I closed the day off with Joseph, who after rolling around on the floor for 45 minutes and repeatedly taking his gameboy out of his bag and turning it on to start another game of Metroid...and doing no work...decided that he had earned a game of foosball for his good behavior...I told him absolutely not because you don't get to play games if you don't work...I tried to take the game board away from him and he started shrieking and pulled it away from me...after a few moments of tug-of-war, I finally won, got up, opened the door, and threw the fucking game out into the hall (which made quite the crash and alerted my co-workers to the fact that things were not going very well in my session)...Joseph then started flailing his arms around screaming that I was a bitch and ran out in the hall to retrieve the goddamn game...
What the fuck?? Each day only fucking reminds me why I am on the pill...
Well, I've found the best birth control in the world...working at Lindamood Bell for the summer with all of those fucking little spoiled brat kids...
I think it would make anyone reconsider parenthood...
My day today started out with Alex, this little 7 year old girl, who was spread eagle on the floor for the entire hour we spent together because she didn't want to do any work...When she started licking the floor, I truly lost it...
After that, a child locked herself in the bathroom for 15 minutes because she told me "I don't have to do anything you say and I hate you..."
If that weren't enough, I closed the day off with Joseph, who after rolling around on the floor for 45 minutes and repeatedly taking his gameboy out of his bag and turning it on to start another game of Metroid...and doing no work...decided that he had earned a game of foosball for his good behavior...I told him absolutely not because you don't get to play games if you don't work...I tried to take the game board away from him and he started shrieking and pulled it away from me...after a few moments of tug-of-war, I finally won, got up, opened the door, and threw the fucking game out into the hall (which made quite the crash and alerted my co-workers to the fact that things were not going very well in my session)...Joseph then started flailing his arms around screaming that I was a bitch and ran out in the hall to retrieve the goddamn game...
What the fuck?? Each day only fucking reminds me why I am on the pill...
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Well, we definitely need the bell tonight...Kramerica Industries is running overtime tonight...
Beth has finally come up with my pirate name...
DEADLY NIGHTSHADE...because this is the poisonous plant that I use to "off" my victims...
Pure fucking genius...
Beth has finally come up with my pirate name...
DEADLY NIGHTSHADE...because this is the poisonous plant that I use to "off" my victims...
Pure fucking genius...
