Wednesday, December 21, 2005
MORE NEWS FROM YESTERDAY?? IS IT FINALLY TIME??
Rachel spoke with Mr. Carter yesterday at the end of the day after Mike and George left the shop. She was able to get more details for me, but I am going to the shop this afternoon, and will get the full story myself. Apparently though, when she called and asked him if Clint was there, he said, “no, but if you were to call back here in two days, he might very well be here.” I asked her what this two days meant…if Carter had specific information that Clint was coming down on Thursday or if this was just simply Carter thinking that it would be soon now that the rest of them have started hanging out around the shop again. She didn’t know…
What Carter told Rachel: Mike and George have both been in jail. We already knew Mike was…we didn’t know that George was but we kind of suspected it. They were in jail together for the same thing. They have been there for between 6 and 9 months (we don’t know the exact timeframe just yet but that fits in with our story). Clint may or may not have been involved in whatever deal they were doing that went awry…but whatever happened he did NOT go to jail with them…but they said that he was lying low during the time they were away…which makes sense either way (whether he was involved in their deal or whether he was just simply on the periphery and didn’t want to draw too much attention to himself because he was associated with them). Wherever he was during that time, they say he is now in Los Angeles. Carter did not want to ask too many questions about Clint because he didn’t want to make them too suspicious, but they are coming back either today or tomorrow to get the papers that George needs notarized. Carter will then be able to ask more questions. According to Carter, this is the way the cycles go. Mike goes to jail for a period of time…people just seem to kind of disappear…when he comes back, they all start hanging out down at the shop again just like old times…
That’s Rachel’s version of Carter’s story. I will be able to get more information when I see him today. My thinking is this…it’s speculation but helps explain a lot of missing details in the story…the day before my letter was taken to the shop (the last day that Clint was there), he told Carter that he was “going away for awhile.” Carter, being Carter, thought this meant a few days or even a few weeks, but until I see Clint again, we have no way of knowing what he really meant. Just suppose, the deal had already gone bad or was about to go bad and he knew this. Either Mike and George had already been picked up or they sensed that something was about to go down. So, Clint decides to lay low for a little while. They get arrested and he stays low until they get out. That explains where they were and where he was during the last nine months. George gets out first. He got out at the beginning of October, but Mike was still in jail until mid-November. George started meandering around the neighborhood selling stuff, but Mike’s the real ring-leader and nothing really gets done unless he’s around. We know he was on House Arrest and that may have been where he was from November 8th when he was at his parole hearing until yesterday when he arrived at the shop. Now he’s back…they’ve served their time…they start rolling around town a little more…get the gang back together…they’re going to the shop this week to try to sell some stuff to Carter and pick up the notarized papers…maybe they call up Clint and see if he wants to roll down with them…he decides to because he has nothing to do today and maybe Carter’s got some lien deals for him to work on…it’s been awhile since he worked on a car…
It is entirely possible this is the way it will go down…my worry is that Carter will stall a little too long in asking them more info about Clint…and then they’ll disappear again…we can’t let that happen…we wouldn’t be in this boat if Carter just asked the right questions…he’s worried about scaring them off and making them suspicious…but according to Rachel, he wants to get more details about the deal and about why Clint was in hiding….I think that’s a bad idea and that’s what I intend to tell him today…that would make them suspicious…what I think he should do (if Clint doesn’t just come down with them when they come for the notarized papers) is just play it off kind of casually…”man, I miss you guys hanging out around here at the shop all the time…it was so much fun…you guys should come around more often…bring your buddy Clint down…I had a couple of deals over the summer like the ones he used to work on…but I didn’t know where you guys were…I got a couple more coming up…they’ve got Clint’s name written all over them…”
Obviously, the "deal" is me...and that's why it's got his name written on it and no one else's...but if he says it this way, it just makes it seem like these are cars similar to the ones Clint fixes…in passing, they mention this to him when they see him…he’s down at the shop in a day or two…gets the letter…and then it all begins…
So, anyway, even though I’m frustrated that Carter is taking his time and coddling them before he attempts to get the information and I’m worried that he won’t ask the right questions before they disappear again…even in spite of this…I do know that Mike coming back is HUGE…as big as the three other big turning points in this story: 1) the actual meeting; 2) finding Carter’s garage; and 3) when Clint told Carter he didn’t believe him and Carter told Beth to bring the picture of me to the shop…Mike is HUGE…the first day I ever spoke to Carter back in January of last year, when I asked for Clint, he said, “oh yeah…you mean Mike’s friend”…Mike is big…Mike, in the past, has always signaled the return of everybody else…so I understand that even though we may not have gotten substantial information specifically about Clint yesterday, just Mike’s presence back on the scene is a huge turning point in our story…I also understand that there is a timing to this story…how ironic and coincidental that the deal goes awry and Clint goes into hiding just as the letter is taken down to the shop…just sitting there the whole time they were in jail…had the letter gone down a day earlier, he would have gotten it…maybe he would have laid low with me…but just what if that was not the right timing?? Just what if he was too wrapped up in the deal and what had happened to his friends…that he couldn’t pursue anything with me?? Just what if?? But now they’re out and everything’s okay again…what if this was the right timing all along?? And now we have this incredible year-long story that wasn’t even a fraction as good back when he disappeared as it is now…and we have all these friends on board with this story…and I have found a father in Carter…and I have started learning to fix cars and found I love it…all of these things I probably would not have had if this story had resolved back in March…Add onto that the fact that only 13 songs had been written at that time…and I was in the wrong band…now there are 60 songs and the right band…the perfect fit…the one that could actually go somewhere (if we could all just agree on a name, that is)…and I have my life also finally in a good place…in the right place…looking back on it, in a much better place than it probably would have been back in March…
The universe knows better than us…maybe this was the timing…but then, maybe somewhere deep inside, I knew that all along…
Updates to follow...
Rachel spoke with Mr. Carter yesterday at the end of the day after Mike and George left the shop. She was able to get more details for me, but I am going to the shop this afternoon, and will get the full story myself. Apparently though, when she called and asked him if Clint was there, he said, “no, but if you were to call back here in two days, he might very well be here.” I asked her what this two days meant…if Carter had specific information that Clint was coming down on Thursday or if this was just simply Carter thinking that it would be soon now that the rest of them have started hanging out around the shop again. She didn’t know…
What Carter told Rachel: Mike and George have both been in jail. We already knew Mike was…we didn’t know that George was but we kind of suspected it. They were in jail together for the same thing. They have been there for between 6 and 9 months (we don’t know the exact timeframe just yet but that fits in with our story). Clint may or may not have been involved in whatever deal they were doing that went awry…but whatever happened he did NOT go to jail with them…but they said that he was lying low during the time they were away…which makes sense either way (whether he was involved in their deal or whether he was just simply on the periphery and didn’t want to draw too much attention to himself because he was associated with them). Wherever he was during that time, they say he is now in Los Angeles. Carter did not want to ask too many questions about Clint because he didn’t want to make them too suspicious, but they are coming back either today or tomorrow to get the papers that George needs notarized. Carter will then be able to ask more questions. According to Carter, this is the way the cycles go. Mike goes to jail for a period of time…people just seem to kind of disappear…when he comes back, they all start hanging out down at the shop again just like old times…
That’s Rachel’s version of Carter’s story. I will be able to get more information when I see him today. My thinking is this…it’s speculation but helps explain a lot of missing details in the story…the day before my letter was taken to the shop (the last day that Clint was there), he told Carter that he was “going away for awhile.” Carter, being Carter, thought this meant a few days or even a few weeks, but until I see Clint again, we have no way of knowing what he really meant. Just suppose, the deal had already gone bad or was about to go bad and he knew this. Either Mike and George had already been picked up or they sensed that something was about to go down. So, Clint decides to lay low for a little while. They get arrested and he stays low until they get out. That explains where they were and where he was during the last nine months. George gets out first. He got out at the beginning of October, but Mike was still in jail until mid-November. George started meandering around the neighborhood selling stuff, but Mike’s the real ring-leader and nothing really gets done unless he’s around. We know he was on House Arrest and that may have been where he was from November 8th when he was at his parole hearing until yesterday when he arrived at the shop. Now he’s back…they’ve served their time…they start rolling around town a little more…get the gang back together…they’re going to the shop this week to try to sell some stuff to Carter and pick up the notarized papers…maybe they call up Clint and see if he wants to roll down with them…he decides to because he has nothing to do today and maybe Carter’s got some lien deals for him to work on…it’s been awhile since he worked on a car…
It is entirely possible this is the way it will go down…my worry is that Carter will stall a little too long in asking them more info about Clint…and then they’ll disappear again…we can’t let that happen…we wouldn’t be in this boat if Carter just asked the right questions…he’s worried about scaring them off and making them suspicious…but according to Rachel, he wants to get more details about the deal and about why Clint was in hiding….I think that’s a bad idea and that’s what I intend to tell him today…that would make them suspicious…what I think he should do (if Clint doesn’t just come down with them when they come for the notarized papers) is just play it off kind of casually…”man, I miss you guys hanging out around here at the shop all the time…it was so much fun…you guys should come around more often…bring your buddy Clint down…I had a couple of deals over the summer like the ones he used to work on…but I didn’t know where you guys were…I got a couple more coming up…they’ve got Clint’s name written all over them…”
Obviously, the "deal" is me...and that's why it's got his name written on it and no one else's...but if he says it this way, it just makes it seem like these are cars similar to the ones Clint fixes…in passing, they mention this to him when they see him…he’s down at the shop in a day or two…gets the letter…and then it all begins…
So, anyway, even though I’m frustrated that Carter is taking his time and coddling them before he attempts to get the information and I’m worried that he won’t ask the right questions before they disappear again…even in spite of this…I do know that Mike coming back is HUGE…as big as the three other big turning points in this story: 1) the actual meeting; 2) finding Carter’s garage; and 3) when Clint told Carter he didn’t believe him and Carter told Beth to bring the picture of me to the shop…Mike is HUGE…the first day I ever spoke to Carter back in January of last year, when I asked for Clint, he said, “oh yeah…you mean Mike’s friend”…Mike is big…Mike, in the past, has always signaled the return of everybody else…so I understand that even though we may not have gotten substantial information specifically about Clint yesterday, just Mike’s presence back on the scene is a huge turning point in our story…I also understand that there is a timing to this story…how ironic and coincidental that the deal goes awry and Clint goes into hiding just as the letter is taken down to the shop…just sitting there the whole time they were in jail…had the letter gone down a day earlier, he would have gotten it…maybe he would have laid low with me…but just what if that was not the right timing?? Just what if he was too wrapped up in the deal and what had happened to his friends…that he couldn’t pursue anything with me?? Just what if?? But now they’re out and everything’s okay again…what if this was the right timing all along?? And now we have this incredible year-long story that wasn’t even a fraction as good back when he disappeared as it is now…and we have all these friends on board with this story…and I have found a father in Carter…and I have started learning to fix cars and found I love it…all of these things I probably would not have had if this story had resolved back in March…Add onto that the fact that only 13 songs had been written at that time…and I was in the wrong band…now there are 60 songs and the right band…the perfect fit…the one that could actually go somewhere (if we could all just agree on a name, that is)…and I have my life also finally in a good place…in the right place…looking back on it, in a much better place than it probably would have been back in March…
The universe knows better than us…maybe this was the timing…but then, maybe somewhere deep inside, I knew that all along…
Updates to follow...
Finally...in light of yesterday's events...my muse again visited me...and now we have 60...
____________________________________________________________________
A SIGN
Finally…the word out on the street
Is you’re somewhere in this town
I always hoped…but I didn’t really know
‘Til this morning I found out
They say…that you’ve been hiding out
Somewhere underground
Laying low…taking everything slow
‘Til the fire had died down
I have searched this city over
End to end…I was always hoping for a…
**Chorus**
Sign…I’ve been waiting for a
Sign…that you were still
Alive…I’ve been waiting all this
Time…waiting for a
Sign…
You never know…where the day will go
So you better be prepared
When I got the call…crying in a bathroom stall
In a moment of despair
Take a breath…and gather myself
Fix my eyes in the mirror
Emerald green…from the tears that fell unseen
Now, sorrow turns to fear
Cause I have waited for this moment
But faced with its gravity, I find that I shiver at the…
**Chorus**
Sign…I’ve been waiting for a
Sign…that you were still
Alive…I’ve been waiting all this
Time…waiting for a
Sign…
I’ll rise from this coffin I am
Lying in…to face the dawn
I’ll need my shades to take you in
You radiate so bright I squint
Just at the thought…of facing you…
Finally…the word out on the street
Tomorrow is the day
Flash burn…in the moment you return
And all else melts away
I know I have had some time
To prep myself…but I am paralyzed by the…
**Chorus**
Sign…I’ve been waiting for a
Sign…that you were still
Alive…I’ve been waiting all this
Time…waiting for a
Sign…I’ve been waiting for this
Sign…
____________________________________________________________________
A SIGN
Finally…the word out on the street
Is you’re somewhere in this town
I always hoped…but I didn’t really know
‘Til this morning I found out
They say…that you’ve been hiding out
Somewhere underground
Laying low…taking everything slow
‘Til the fire had died down
I have searched this city over
End to end…I was always hoping for a…
**Chorus**
Sign…I’ve been waiting for a
Sign…that you were still
Alive…I’ve been waiting all this
Time…waiting for a
Sign…
You never know…where the day will go
So you better be prepared
When I got the call…crying in a bathroom stall
In a moment of despair
Take a breath…and gather myself
Fix my eyes in the mirror
Emerald green…from the tears that fell unseen
Now, sorrow turns to fear
Cause I have waited for this moment
But faced with its gravity, I find that I shiver at the…
**Chorus**
Sign…I’ve been waiting for a
Sign…that you were still
Alive…I’ve been waiting all this
Time…waiting for a
Sign…
I’ll rise from this coffin I am
Lying in…to face the dawn
I’ll need my shades to take you in
You radiate so bright I squint
Just at the thought…of facing you…
Finally…the word out on the street
Tomorrow is the day
Flash burn…in the moment you return
And all else melts away
I know I have had some time
To prep myself…but I am paralyzed by the…
**Chorus**
Sign…I’ve been waiting for a
Sign…that you were still
Alive…I’ve been waiting all this
Time…waiting for a
Sign…I’ve been waiting for this
Sign…
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
THIS COULD BE SOMETHING BIG...
George and Mike, Clint’s two best friends, are down at the shop right now as we speak…they have been there since 11:30 this morning…they are completely high…and there may or may not be someone else with them. I was on the phone with Carter and either another call came in or something happened down there…he put me on hold…when he came back, he said, “I have some MORE good news for you…we’ll have to finish this conversation another time…”
Well, it was already good news that George and Mike were there…what else could there be???
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I can’t think of any other good news there could be…I don’t know if Clint had called in at that moment or if George and Mike were on the phone with him or if he, himself, was actually at the garage…
So, I had Beth call up there half an hour later to make sure that Carter knew that if Clint did show up today, he had to pull him aside and give him the letter. So, Beth called up and in her Southern accent she asked: “Is Clint there??”
And Carter said, “He certainly is.” But he wouldn’t talk to her because the guys were there and he couldn’t talk in front of them…and she couldn’t figure out if he was joking about Clint being there or not…but something was going on there…and he told her to tell me that he was going to have some really good news for me tomorrow…in the past, when he had “news” for me, it was because Mike or George had called him up and promised to come down to the shop sometime later that week (most often, they never showed up)…but they were there today…all day long…carrying on and smoking pot down there…so what is the good word??? Either Clint’s down there today as well or Carter’s at least getting specific information about Clint for us from Mike (keep in mind Mike, who is according to Carter, Clint’s best friend, hasn’t been down to the shop since Clint disappeared back at the end of March)…
I wish I was at the garage today…I don’t want to get my hopes up too high…but something’s going on down there right now…and this could be the beginning of it all…
Updates to follow…
George and Mike, Clint’s two best friends, are down at the shop right now as we speak…they have been there since 11:30 this morning…they are completely high…and there may or may not be someone else with them. I was on the phone with Carter and either another call came in or something happened down there…he put me on hold…when he came back, he said, “I have some MORE good news for you…we’ll have to finish this conversation another time…”
Well, it was already good news that George and Mike were there…what else could there be???
I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I can’t think of any other good news there could be…I don’t know if Clint had called in at that moment or if George and Mike were on the phone with him or if he, himself, was actually at the garage…
So, I had Beth call up there half an hour later to make sure that Carter knew that if Clint did show up today, he had to pull him aside and give him the letter. So, Beth called up and in her Southern accent she asked: “Is Clint there??”
And Carter said, “He certainly is.” But he wouldn’t talk to her because the guys were there and he couldn’t talk in front of them…and she couldn’t figure out if he was joking about Clint being there or not…but something was going on there…and he told her to tell me that he was going to have some really good news for me tomorrow…in the past, when he had “news” for me, it was because Mike or George had called him up and promised to come down to the shop sometime later that week (most often, they never showed up)…but they were there today…all day long…carrying on and smoking pot down there…so what is the good word??? Either Clint’s down there today as well or Carter’s at least getting specific information about Clint for us from Mike (keep in mind Mike, who is according to Carter, Clint’s best friend, hasn’t been down to the shop since Clint disappeared back at the end of March)…
I wish I was at the garage today…I don’t want to get my hopes up too high…but something’s going on down there right now…and this could be the beginning of it all…
Updates to follow…
Monday, December 19, 2005
NEWS FROM CARTER'S:
Clint's friend George was at the shop today. He is desperate and needs a favor from Carter. He needs something notorized. Carter can't do this for him, but Carter's girlfriend Anna can because she works at the bank. Carter told George to come back in the next day or two (basically as soon as possible) with the documents he needs notorized and Carter will have Anna take care of it. Carter's thinking is that doing this favor for George will give him some "leverage." It kind of gives him a "one-up." He believes that once he has done this favor, George will be willing to do something for Carter in return. And all Carter wants is information about Clint. As much as we can possibly get at this time. George is very elusive and doesn't really like to talk, but this "favor" may prompt him to give us all the information we need; more information than he might have given otherwise. He may even be so grateful for Carter's help that he goes home and gets Clint to come down to the shop with him.
I know it's frustrating. When I heard this today...I thought to myself: "Why the hell can't he just ask George for the information when he's there?" But then I realize that Carter knows these guys way better than I do. He knows how they operate. I just have to trust that Carter knows the proper way to reach them and get the information we need. It's all going to happen...it's just a matter of when...to me, clearly, there is a timing issue with this whole story...things have to be done in their proper time...that's why my letter goes down to the shop the day after the last day Clint is seen for months...I am open to whatever the timing is supposed to be. Carter has proven that he has a strange unexplored "sixth sense" of some type. If we have to take this slowly...and patiently coax the information out of the boys...then so be it...the end result is still the same...we get what we want...it's just a matter of when...
Updates to follow...
Clint's friend George was at the shop today. He is desperate and needs a favor from Carter. He needs something notorized. Carter can't do this for him, but Carter's girlfriend Anna can because she works at the bank. Carter told George to come back in the next day or two (basically as soon as possible) with the documents he needs notorized and Carter will have Anna take care of it. Carter's thinking is that doing this favor for George will give him some "leverage." It kind of gives him a "one-up." He believes that once he has done this favor, George will be willing to do something for Carter in return. And all Carter wants is information about Clint. As much as we can possibly get at this time. George is very elusive and doesn't really like to talk, but this "favor" may prompt him to give us all the information we need; more information than he might have given otherwise. He may even be so grateful for Carter's help that he goes home and gets Clint to come down to the shop with him.
I know it's frustrating. When I heard this today...I thought to myself: "Why the hell can't he just ask George for the information when he's there?" But then I realize that Carter knows these guys way better than I do. He knows how they operate. I just have to trust that Carter knows the proper way to reach them and get the information we need. It's all going to happen...it's just a matter of when...to me, clearly, there is a timing issue with this whole story...things have to be done in their proper time...that's why my letter goes down to the shop the day after the last day Clint is seen for months...I am open to whatever the timing is supposed to be. Carter has proven that he has a strange unexplored "sixth sense" of some type. If we have to take this slowly...and patiently coax the information out of the boys...then so be it...the end result is still the same...we get what we want...it's just a matter of when...
Updates to follow...
Friday, December 16, 2005
CLINT UPDATE
This Cliff person I talked about in my last blog used to play guitar with Brett Michaels...
He's not our guy...besides, I heard him right...he said his name was Clint...not Cliff...
Still no word from George, Mike, or any of the boys...
But Carter is still hopeful...there is still one week until Christmas and they have some things they are supposed to deliver to Carter before then...
I'm going back down to the shop today...
One of these days...will be the day...
Find Clint. Find Peace.
This Cliff person I talked about in my last blog used to play guitar with Brett Michaels...
He's not our guy...besides, I heard him right...he said his name was Clint...not Cliff...
Still no word from George, Mike, or any of the boys...
But Carter is still hopeful...there is still one week until Christmas and they have some things they are supposed to deliver to Carter before then...
I'm going back down to the shop today...
One of these days...will be the day...
Find Clint. Find Peace.
I find just can't write the 60th song...I don't know what it's about yet...until then, I guess there are other things to write about...
_____________________________________________________________________
CRUSH
I know I barely even know him
But when I’m around him, I can barely breathe
Can’t think of a single thing to say
Doesn’t matter…my mouth’s too dry to speak
Anyway…
I know I really shouldn’t be here
But I know tomorrow I’ll return
Playing hooky in the afternoon
Just to watch him work
**Chorus**
Ooh…he’s out from underneath the car
And ooh…he’s smiling right at me
Ooh...I’m melting in this moment
Can’t explain it…thought the boy was just a
Crush…
Don’t know why one smile means so much…
I find I’m like a moth
Underneath the lights
Every time he glances my way
I feel a flutter in side
Wanna fly away…
And I know I ought to be a little bolder
Get my courage up
I really wanna ask him for his number
Take a ride in his truck
**Chorus**
Ooh…he’s out from underneath the car
And ooh…he’s smiling right at me
Ooh...I’m melting in this moment
Can’t explain it…thought the boy was just a
Crush…
Don’t know why one smile means so much…
My mind’s made up
I’m thinking up
Some good excuses
To give me a reason to come by
It seems so obvious
I feel so obvious
But I’ve obviously caught his eye…
He’s looking…he’s trying to be subtle
But I know I got him know
Hike up my skirt a little higher
And cast my line out
Got his attention…
I could watch him working for hours
Just fixing brakes
Until they’re ready to close up shop
And head home for the day
**Chorus**
Ooh…he’s out from underneath the car
And ooh…he’s smiling right at me
Ooh...I’m melting in this moment
Can’t explain it…thought the boy was just a
Crush…
He’s out from underneath the car
And ooh…he’s walking over to me
Ooh…I’m feeling kind of flushed
Gonna find out where this whole crush leads…
I only hope he won’t crush me…
_____________________________________________________________________
CRUSH
I know I barely even know him
But when I’m around him, I can barely breathe
Can’t think of a single thing to say
Doesn’t matter…my mouth’s too dry to speak
Anyway…
I know I really shouldn’t be here
But I know tomorrow I’ll return
Playing hooky in the afternoon
Just to watch him work
**Chorus**
Ooh…he’s out from underneath the car
And ooh…he’s smiling right at me
Ooh...I’m melting in this moment
Can’t explain it…thought the boy was just a
Crush…
Don’t know why one smile means so much…
I find I’m like a moth
Underneath the lights
Every time he glances my way
I feel a flutter in side
Wanna fly away…
And I know I ought to be a little bolder
Get my courage up
I really wanna ask him for his number
Take a ride in his truck
**Chorus**
Ooh…he’s out from underneath the car
And ooh…he’s smiling right at me
Ooh...I’m melting in this moment
Can’t explain it…thought the boy was just a
Crush…
Don’t know why one smile means so much…
My mind’s made up
I’m thinking up
Some good excuses
To give me a reason to come by
It seems so obvious
I feel so obvious
But I’ve obviously caught his eye…
He’s looking…he’s trying to be subtle
But I know I got him know
Hike up my skirt a little higher
And cast my line out
Got his attention…
I could watch him working for hours
Just fixing brakes
Until they’re ready to close up shop
And head home for the day
**Chorus**
Ooh…he’s out from underneath the car
And ooh…he’s smiling right at me
Ooh...I’m melting in this moment
Can’t explain it…thought the boy was just a
Crush…
He’s out from underneath the car
And ooh…he’s walking over to me
Ooh…I’m feeling kind of flushed
Gonna find out where this whole crush leads…
I only hope he won’t crush me…
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
CLINT UPDATE
No news from Carter’s this week yet, but it is still early afternoon on Wednesday. I was on the phone with him yesterday and there was a guy down at the shop that used to know Clint. Not well the way that George and Mike know him…but he knows who Clint is. Carter asked him if he had seen Clint recently or knew what was going on with him and the guy said that he hadn’t seen him in awhile.
We’re still hoping that George will go down this week.
In another realm, a message was posted this morning on the Black Broom listserv (the listserv for the pagan store Clint told me about when we met)…it was from a guy who said that he had been “outta town for several months” and was wondering where and when the Black Broom moved (the store moved to a new location about a month and a half ago)…I almost disregarded the message and deleted it...I know where the Black Broom is now, afterall, and don’t need this information…but I stopped when I saw the name of the man…Cliff…
From our search calling all the mechanics in the beginning of our story (before we found Carter’s and stopped making our calls)…many of the people who answered our calls…thought we were saying Cliff…and they would ask us to repeat the name…I know that these two names sound very similar…Cliff is probably just as uncommon a name as Clint…and there is clearly a Cliff who shops at this bookstore…is it possible that this is the man that I met?? Could I have misheard him?? Is it possible his name is Clifford and sometimes he goes by Cliff and sometimes he goes by Clint? The names are so similar sounding…
Anything is possible at this point…I have this man’s email address now…I suppose it doesn’t hurt to email him and ask him if he is from Tennessee…wouldn’t that be ironic??
I already spoke with Carter today regarding this matter…he said that he is certain the guy at his shop goes by Clint…but he also said that it is possible this is the same person…he could go by both names…people have strange variations on their names that they sometimes use in different circumstances…
Updates will follow…
No news from Carter’s this week yet, but it is still early afternoon on Wednesday. I was on the phone with him yesterday and there was a guy down at the shop that used to know Clint. Not well the way that George and Mike know him…but he knows who Clint is. Carter asked him if he had seen Clint recently or knew what was going on with him and the guy said that he hadn’t seen him in awhile.
We’re still hoping that George will go down this week.
In another realm, a message was posted this morning on the Black Broom listserv (the listserv for the pagan store Clint told me about when we met)…it was from a guy who said that he had been “outta town for several months” and was wondering where and when the Black Broom moved (the store moved to a new location about a month and a half ago)…I almost disregarded the message and deleted it...I know where the Black Broom is now, afterall, and don’t need this information…but I stopped when I saw the name of the man…Cliff…
From our search calling all the mechanics in the beginning of our story (before we found Carter’s and stopped making our calls)…many of the people who answered our calls…thought we were saying Cliff…and they would ask us to repeat the name…I know that these two names sound very similar…Cliff is probably just as uncommon a name as Clint…and there is clearly a Cliff who shops at this bookstore…is it possible that this is the man that I met?? Could I have misheard him?? Is it possible his name is Clifford and sometimes he goes by Cliff and sometimes he goes by Clint? The names are so similar sounding…
Anything is possible at this point…I have this man’s email address now…I suppose it doesn’t hurt to email him and ask him if he is from Tennessee…wouldn’t that be ironic??
I already spoke with Carter today regarding this matter…he said that he is certain the guy at his shop goes by Clint…but he also said that it is possible this is the same person…he could go by both names…people have strange variations on their names that they sometimes use in different circumstances…
Updates will follow…
Not part of the Gypsy Chronicles, per se...but it has a place in our story...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I AM THE GIRL
I’ve never been in love
I’ve never had the chance
Never given my heart away
Cause I’ve never met my match
I’ve never learned to calm down
No reason why I should
Never pretended that I was normal
No reason why I would
Don’t stand there staring at me
With that stupid smile
I know that you’ll be gone
In a little while…
**CHORUS**
Cause I am the girl that they don’t keep around for long
I know I scare them at the same time they’re turned on
But pretty soon they find that they just can’t keep up
Cause I am the girl who is too much…
I like to stay up all night
Until I just collapse
Sometimes I like to break things
With my bare hands
I like to set a fire
Just to watch it burn
I like to dive into darkness
No promise I’ll return
Don’t sit there staring at me
With those bedroom eyes
I know that you’ll be gone
Before you’ve said goodbye…
**Chorus**
Cause I am the girl that they don’t keep around for long
I know I scare them at the same time they’re turned on
But pretty soon they find that they just can’t keep up
Cause I am the girl who is too much…
If you think I really care
Then you’re fooling yourself well
If you think I even care
Then you’re really fooling yourself...fooling yourself…
Fooling yourself…well…
(I needed something to occupy my time…
You were only there to occupy my time…)
I’ll never apologize
For the way I am
And I will never change
For any fucking man
I am a mystery
That most can’t pull apart
My intensity’s
Not for the faint of heart
Don’t stand there staring at me
With those lustful eyes
I know you’ll disappear
Without a reason why…
**Chorus**
Cause I am the girl that they don’t keep around for long
I know I scare them at the same time they’re turned on
But pretty soon they find that they just can’t keep up
Cause I am the girl who is too much…
(I needed something to occupy my time…
You were only there to occupy my time…)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I AM THE GIRL
I’ve never been in love
I’ve never had the chance
Never given my heart away
Cause I’ve never met my match
I’ve never learned to calm down
No reason why I should
Never pretended that I was normal
No reason why I would
Don’t stand there staring at me
With that stupid smile
I know that you’ll be gone
In a little while…
**CHORUS**
Cause I am the girl that they don’t keep around for long
I know I scare them at the same time they’re turned on
But pretty soon they find that they just can’t keep up
Cause I am the girl who is too much…
I like to stay up all night
Until I just collapse
Sometimes I like to break things
With my bare hands
I like to set a fire
Just to watch it burn
I like to dive into darkness
No promise I’ll return
Don’t sit there staring at me
With those bedroom eyes
I know that you’ll be gone
Before you’ve said goodbye…
**Chorus**
Cause I am the girl that they don’t keep around for long
I know I scare them at the same time they’re turned on
But pretty soon they find that they just can’t keep up
Cause I am the girl who is too much…
If you think I really care
Then you’re fooling yourself well
If you think I even care
Then you’re really fooling yourself...fooling yourself…
Fooling yourself…well…
(I needed something to occupy my time…
You were only there to occupy my time…)
I’ll never apologize
For the way I am
And I will never change
For any fucking man
I am a mystery
That most can’t pull apart
My intensity’s
Not for the faint of heart
Don’t stand there staring at me
With those lustful eyes
I know you’ll disappear
Without a reason why…
**Chorus**
Cause I am the girl that they don’t keep around for long
I know I scare them at the same time they’re turned on
But pretty soon they find that they just can’t keep up
Cause I am the girl who is too much…
(I needed something to occupy my time…
You were only there to occupy my time…)
Thursday, December 08, 2005
HOUSE SHOPPING WITH MR. CARTER AND OTHER NEWS...
Last night I saw a 1.5 million dollar house with Mr. Carter. He told the realtor that he wanted his daughter to see the house as well. The house was nice, very large, with four bedrooms. The realtor thought that was great for when “your daughter and her friends are over.” The best part about the house was the six car garage, which is exactly what Carter is looking for because he has so many cars to park there. But ultimately, we decided that the neighborhood was too fancy (“I don’t want to be living around all these stuffy stuck up rich people,” Carter remarked) and that the house was too big and not secluded or far enough from the street (Carter wants a lot of privacy) and he said, “If I’m spending this kind of money, I want to get exactly what I want.”
We drove around for another half an hour or so looking at houses, but didn’t see anything more that we liked that was for sale. There are a couple more that Carter is supposed to see next week. I told him that if he needed his daughter’s help, I would be more than happy to go with him to look at them.
In other news at the shop, George, Clint’s friend, was at the shop on Monday TWICE, but George is very elusive and he won’t talk to Carter if there are other people at the shop that he doesn’t know; each time he was there, the shop was crawling with people. So, Carter wasn’t able to ask him our crucial question: Clint’s whereabouts. But George now has a list of things that Carter wants to buy off of him and he said that it should be pretty easy to find these items; Carter expects George back sometime this week. If anything, he needs the items before Christmas, so that gives us some kind of time frame. Carter said that he also has begun thinking a lot about what he’s going to do when Clint actually walks into the shop. He said he is afraid he’s going to be so nervous that he might forget my number, so he has my CD next to his phone to remind him of my number and of Beth’s. He will call both of us and either leave a message if no one picks up or say the code words: “I have some time to fix your car if you can bring it down in the next half an hour.” If no one shows up, before Clint leaves, he is to pull him aside and give him the “Clint file” and tell him how important this deal is and that he will want to open it when he is alone. My feeling is that we will not be able to get to the shop in time and that the file will simply need to be passed off to Clint. In some regards, I think this may be best. It will give Clint the time he needs to digest what he can understand is going on here from the letter, rather than be faced with me unannounced at the shop. He may need some time to think and some preparation for this because this is going to be like getting hit by a truck. The man is Romany wicca, and by definition, has a romantic soul. So, there is no way he will not call me. And when he does, I will ask him I can buy him a drink and an hour of his time. And I will tell him the story. And most likely, that hour will turn into four or five...or more...
Carter says he’s starting to get nervous. I am too. I don’t know if this is because we sense the immediacy of this or what…but something may be about to go down. When I am with Clint finally, I will text message the letters “EMT” to Beth to indicate that it is an emergency. That is when her calls will begin…
May the force be with us…
Last night I saw a 1.5 million dollar house with Mr. Carter. He told the realtor that he wanted his daughter to see the house as well. The house was nice, very large, with four bedrooms. The realtor thought that was great for when “your daughter and her friends are over.” The best part about the house was the six car garage, which is exactly what Carter is looking for because he has so many cars to park there. But ultimately, we decided that the neighborhood was too fancy (“I don’t want to be living around all these stuffy stuck up rich people,” Carter remarked) and that the house was too big and not secluded or far enough from the street (Carter wants a lot of privacy) and he said, “If I’m spending this kind of money, I want to get exactly what I want.”
We drove around for another half an hour or so looking at houses, but didn’t see anything more that we liked that was for sale. There are a couple more that Carter is supposed to see next week. I told him that if he needed his daughter’s help, I would be more than happy to go with him to look at them.
In other news at the shop, George, Clint’s friend, was at the shop on Monday TWICE, but George is very elusive and he won’t talk to Carter if there are other people at the shop that he doesn’t know; each time he was there, the shop was crawling with people. So, Carter wasn’t able to ask him our crucial question: Clint’s whereabouts. But George now has a list of things that Carter wants to buy off of him and he said that it should be pretty easy to find these items; Carter expects George back sometime this week. If anything, he needs the items before Christmas, so that gives us some kind of time frame. Carter said that he also has begun thinking a lot about what he’s going to do when Clint actually walks into the shop. He said he is afraid he’s going to be so nervous that he might forget my number, so he has my CD next to his phone to remind him of my number and of Beth’s. He will call both of us and either leave a message if no one picks up or say the code words: “I have some time to fix your car if you can bring it down in the next half an hour.” If no one shows up, before Clint leaves, he is to pull him aside and give him the “Clint file” and tell him how important this deal is and that he will want to open it when he is alone. My feeling is that we will not be able to get to the shop in time and that the file will simply need to be passed off to Clint. In some regards, I think this may be best. It will give Clint the time he needs to digest what he can understand is going on here from the letter, rather than be faced with me unannounced at the shop. He may need some time to think and some preparation for this because this is going to be like getting hit by a truck. The man is Romany wicca, and by definition, has a romantic soul. So, there is no way he will not call me. And when he does, I will ask him I can buy him a drink and an hour of his time. And I will tell him the story. And most likely, that hour will turn into four or five...or more...
Carter says he’s starting to get nervous. I am too. I don’t know if this is because we sense the immediacy of this or what…but something may be about to go down. When I am with Clint finally, I will text message the letters “EMT” to Beth to indicate that it is an emergency. That is when her calls will begin…
May the force be with us…
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
SONG 59...I hope this day is soon...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY LUCKY DAY
You…don’t know what you’re doing to me
At times…I think that maybe I should leave
Cause hope…is sometimes overrated
Still…there’s a voice that tells me “hang on”
Out…out in the middle of nowhere
I find…that I can think a little clearer
The sky…is wide and there are many options
But I…find that I have no intention of stopping cause…
**Chorus**
Someday…when I wake in the morning
Without a warning
My luck’s gonna change
Some days…even though I am jaded
I’ll be glad that I waited
I’ll be glad I can say,
“Today’s my lucky day.”
Here…I’m the only one awake on earth
And this…could be the eve of my rebirth
You…hold the pieces that still puzzle me
But when they fit…this will make sense you will see…
**Chorus**
Someday…when we wake in the morning
Without a warning
Our luck’s gonna change
Some days…even though I feel jaded
I’ll be glad that I waited
I’ll be glad I can say,
“Today’s my lucky day.”
Please don’t leave me out here in the cold
Please don’t leave me out here in the cold
Oh come…unlock this door before I freeze
You have the key…
The stars…sometimes have the right alignment
And then…the answers that we search for find us
You…are the only thing that still escapes me
I long…for the dawn I open up my eyes and see…
**Chorus**
The day…when I wake in the morning
Without a warning
I sense a change
Some days…even though I feel jaded
I’ll be glad that I waited
And I’m gonna say,
“Today’s my lucky day.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY LUCKY DAY
You…don’t know what you’re doing to me
At times…I think that maybe I should leave
Cause hope…is sometimes overrated
Still…there’s a voice that tells me “hang on”
Out…out in the middle of nowhere
I find…that I can think a little clearer
The sky…is wide and there are many options
But I…find that I have no intention of stopping cause…
**Chorus**
Someday…when I wake in the morning
Without a warning
My luck’s gonna change
Some days…even though I am jaded
I’ll be glad that I waited
I’ll be glad I can say,
“Today’s my lucky day.”
Here…I’m the only one awake on earth
And this…could be the eve of my rebirth
You…hold the pieces that still puzzle me
But when they fit…this will make sense you will see…
**Chorus**
Someday…when we wake in the morning
Without a warning
Our luck’s gonna change
Some days…even though I feel jaded
I’ll be glad that I waited
I’ll be glad I can say,
“Today’s my lucky day.”
Please don’t leave me out here in the cold
Please don’t leave me out here in the cold
Oh come…unlock this door before I freeze
You have the key…
The stars…sometimes have the right alignment
And then…the answers that we search for find us
You…are the only thing that still escapes me
I long…for the dawn I open up my eyes and see…
**Chorus**
The day…when I wake in the morning
Without a warning
I sense a change
Some days…even though I feel jaded
I’ll be glad that I waited
And I’m gonna say,
“Today’s my lucky day.”
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
SONG 58...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FALL
I am aware…now
That I was only held here by me
I am aware…now
The ropes were just illusion…imaginary
Rise…up from the ground
You were never held here
You were never bound
So rise…up from the ground
Step to the edge
Don’t look down
**Chorus**
Just fall…
I am falling
I don’t know what’s below
But I fall…
I am falling
Seems to be the way…
To let go…of it all...
And just fall…
Like an apparition…you were
You were there one moment…and then gone
But it was like a lightening flash…for me
Illuminate my sky for a moment
Then drive…away in your car
Out into the distance
‘Til you don’t know where you are
Drive…as many miles as you need
One day our paths will cross again
If it is meant to be
**Chorus**
Just fall…
I am falling
I don’t know what’s below
But I fall…
I am falling
Seems to be the way…
To let go…of it all...
And just fall…
I held on for dear life…
I thought that I could manipulate time
In my favor…
But now I see
The only way that I can breathe
Release…whatever hold I still keep
Whatever will be…will be
It doesn’t really matter where we were
Only where we’re going…I know…
The moments in between could be anything
Doesn’t matter how we get there
Only that we will
I…will try to relax
And never forget
Exactly what I have
I…know one moment of fate
And no matter what we did
We’d still meet again someday
**Chorus**
So I fall…
I am falling
I don’t know what’s below
But I fall…
I am falling
Seems to be the way…
To let go…of it all...
And just fall…
Just fall…
Just fall…
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FALL
I am aware…now
That I was only held here by me
I am aware…now
The ropes were just illusion…imaginary
Rise…up from the ground
You were never held here
You were never bound
So rise…up from the ground
Step to the edge
Don’t look down
**Chorus**
Just fall…
I am falling
I don’t know what’s below
But I fall…
I am falling
Seems to be the way…
To let go…of it all...
And just fall…
Like an apparition…you were
You were there one moment…and then gone
But it was like a lightening flash…for me
Illuminate my sky for a moment
Then drive…away in your car
Out into the distance
‘Til you don’t know where you are
Drive…as many miles as you need
One day our paths will cross again
If it is meant to be
**Chorus**
Just fall…
I am falling
I don’t know what’s below
But I fall…
I am falling
Seems to be the way…
To let go…of it all...
And just fall…
I held on for dear life…
I thought that I could manipulate time
In my favor…
But now I see
The only way that I can breathe
Release…whatever hold I still keep
Whatever will be…will be
It doesn’t really matter where we were
Only where we’re going…I know…
The moments in between could be anything
Doesn’t matter how we get there
Only that we will
I…will try to relax
And never forget
Exactly what I have
I…know one moment of fate
And no matter what we did
We’d still meet again someday
**Chorus**
So I fall…
I am falling
I don’t know what’s below
But I fall…
I am falling
Seems to be the way…
To let go…of it all...
And just fall…
Just fall…
Just fall…
Monday, December 05, 2005
CLINT UPDATE
It is my intuition that something is going to happen this week. I was down at Carter’s on Friday afternoon and he told me that George had called him earlier that day and was making plans to come down to the shop. Carter thought he might be coming that very day, but apparently Carter believed that George was completely high when he talked to him, and that could explain why he did not appear at the garage on Friday. However, Carter was confident that he would be down at the garage sometime the following week. This was, of course, encouraging news because when Carter sees George in person, he will be able to find out Clint’s whereabouts and ask George to bring Clint down to the shop because he has “many deals for him to work on.”
I spent another hour down at the shop chatting with Carter, and when I was getting ready to leave, I had this strange sense that the next time I came down to the shop, there would already have been word from Clint or I would be going there because Carter had called me to tell me that Clint was there at that very moment. And this thought terrified me. Because all of a sudden, it seemed so real and so close.
My intuition tells me for some reason that there will be news from the shop sometime this week (between the 5th and the 9th—possibly on the 6th or the 7th) and that Clint, himself, would come to the shop sometime the following week (between the 12th and the 16th). My feeling is that I will have talked to Clint by the 18th at the latest. Now, some of my intuitions have been wrong in the past regarding these matters, but some of them have also been right (for example, I sensed that something was going to happen on the 8th of November and that was the day that Mike finally called Carter and told him that he was now out of jail).
I think that something may have happened down at Carter’s today. I called Carter around 2:30 and he told me to call him back in 5 minutes because he was in the middle of something important that he needed to take care of. A part of me got the sense that this was related to the Clint search, but then, I figured that was probably wishful thinking and he was most likely simply in the middle of something with another client. However, when I called back 10 minutes later, Carter told me that he was talking to George and that he couldn’t talk to me right then.
Now, I don’t know if George was actually at the shop or if he was on the phone with him at that time. I don’t know what was going on down at that garage at that moment, but it was related to Clint. George’s more and more frequent calls mean that he is coming down to the shop, probably sometime this week. And so my intuition about the fact that we would receive news sometime this week was probably correct. Is the other intuition (that Clint, himself, will return to the garage next week) also correct???
This may be the beginning of the sequence of events that we have all been waiting for…
Keep your fingers crossed…
It is my intuition that something is going to happen this week. I was down at Carter’s on Friday afternoon and he told me that George had called him earlier that day and was making plans to come down to the shop. Carter thought he might be coming that very day, but apparently Carter believed that George was completely high when he talked to him, and that could explain why he did not appear at the garage on Friday. However, Carter was confident that he would be down at the garage sometime the following week. This was, of course, encouraging news because when Carter sees George in person, he will be able to find out Clint’s whereabouts and ask George to bring Clint down to the shop because he has “many deals for him to work on.”
I spent another hour down at the shop chatting with Carter, and when I was getting ready to leave, I had this strange sense that the next time I came down to the shop, there would already have been word from Clint or I would be going there because Carter had called me to tell me that Clint was there at that very moment. And this thought terrified me. Because all of a sudden, it seemed so real and so close.
My intuition tells me for some reason that there will be news from the shop sometime this week (between the 5th and the 9th—possibly on the 6th or the 7th) and that Clint, himself, would come to the shop sometime the following week (between the 12th and the 16th). My feeling is that I will have talked to Clint by the 18th at the latest. Now, some of my intuitions have been wrong in the past regarding these matters, but some of them have also been right (for example, I sensed that something was going to happen on the 8th of November and that was the day that Mike finally called Carter and told him that he was now out of jail).
I think that something may have happened down at Carter’s today. I called Carter around 2:30 and he told me to call him back in 5 minutes because he was in the middle of something important that he needed to take care of. A part of me got the sense that this was related to the Clint search, but then, I figured that was probably wishful thinking and he was most likely simply in the middle of something with another client. However, when I called back 10 minutes later, Carter told me that he was talking to George and that he couldn’t talk to me right then.
Now, I don’t know if George was actually at the shop or if he was on the phone with him at that time. I don’t know what was going on down at that garage at that moment, but it was related to Clint. George’s more and more frequent calls mean that he is coming down to the shop, probably sometime this week. And so my intuition about the fact that we would receive news sometime this week was probably correct. Is the other intuition (that Clint, himself, will return to the garage next week) also correct???
This may be the beginning of the sequence of events that we have all been waiting for…
Keep your fingers crossed…
