Sign of the Times

IT WASN'T HIM

CLINT EMAILED ME TONIGHT...

See below...
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i'm flattered , and i thank you for my balloons . that was sweet of you. don't be shy, no need to be a secret...

clint




if this is a joke.....very funny

WE ARE STILL ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

On Monday afternoon, Mr. Carter was apparently visited by one of Clint’s “running buddies.” I have never heard this term used before. I was kind of confused when Beth told me this. I said, “I really don’t think he’s a runner.” But she said she thinks he means some friend that Clint “runs” around town with. This is apparently a person who is in contact with Clint. This “running buddy” was just as confused as Carter was about why Clint had not been down to the shop in so long. He said that he would get in contact with Clint and would let Carter know what he found out. Yesterday, Mr. Carter had still not heard back from this “running buddy.” He is blinding mad. He said, “Well, I guess Clint’s friends are just as unreliable as he is.”

Now, we don’t know the exact nature of this friendship or how often this guy actually sees Clint, but when he does he is going to tell him to go to Carter’s because Carter really wants to see him. Honestly, these boys are probably sitting somewhere laughing it up at how bent out of shape Carter is getting over all of this. But the fact of the matter is…he will go there someday. We only hope that it is soon.

Rachel and Beth are visiting Carter’s on Friday afternoon. They are taking him brownies and Rachel just really wants to meet him since she was actually out here in L.A. when we found the shop in the first place. I am off work that day as well. I may be sitting in the car. I have this sneaking suspicion there’s a reason I took work off that day. Will he be there? I don’t know. But Rachel has been looking forward to meeting Mr. Carter for many months now. Nate says: “Mr. Carter’s becoming some kind of celebrity or something.”

Speaking of which, on Monday I wore a shirt down to the Kibitz that said: “Carter Knows Best.” Some guy came up to me and said:

“Hey, who is this Carter? Does he write a lot? Is he someone I should have read or something?”

I replied, “Oh, he is a very wise man.”

The guy responded, “Is he a philosopher?”

And Beth said, “No, he’s a mechanic.”

The guy looked very confused and asked no further questions.

All I know is: the Clint search is still on. We are still on the road to recovery…

Updates will follow…

CLINT UPDATE

Friends and friends of friends:

Even I lose a little faith sometimes. And the longer this whole thing goes on, the harder it is to stay strong. To keep believing. But I know that I have to. I broke down last night. I told Beth that I was about ready to throw in the towel. What if this isn’t even the right Clint that we’ve been chasing after for months? What if he never goes back to work? What if I’m just wasting my time? What if I just look like a fool in the end?
As usual, Beth calmed me down.
“We can’t give up,” she said, “Too many people are waiting on the answer to this. And it is so much bigger than you anymore. You’re in the position to give hope to a lot of people. When people see this resolve, they’ll understand that with a little faith and a lot of persistence and a lot of hard work, anything is possible.”
And she’s right. I know this…but it’s still hard. I know that everyone wants to know the answer to this…but really imagine what it is like to wait…day in and day out…always hoping for news tomorrow? But knowing that there is really nothing else you can do. I can’t give it up…that’s impossible now. But yet everyday is always the same. And still Beth says, “It’s like one of Newton’s Laws: an object in motion, stays in motion.” And again, she’s right.
This has all been set in motion. And there’s not a thing I can do to stop it now, even if I wanted to. The letter’s there. He’s going to go in and get it at some point. But still, at the back of my mind, there’s that sneaking fear: what if it’s not even the right Clint? Mr. Carter seems to think it is. But Mr. Carter is a little crazy.
So, Beth said she would ask him a few questions if I needed more confirmation. Get him to generate the description of Clint. So, she just flat-out asked him what Clint looked like. And the man he described sounds like our guy. It is just too coincidental for there to be two men named Clint with long-ish brown hair in their late 20s who are mechanics in that area. Carter said he’s never met anyone else named Clint before, so he thinks it is impossible for there to be two men who fit that description named Clint. And he says that he knows he’s not from here. “Somewhere in the south,” he said, “like Oklahoma, maybe?” Well, before he told us that he had asked one of the friends and they said Clint was from Tennessee. But we all know Carter is a little forgetful. Oklahoma’s close. Beth said, “Well, Clint told Debbie he was from Tennessee.” And Carter thought that very well might be right.

So, we have our confirmation. That sneaking fear can go away. This is our Clint. Now, he just needs to go to work. Carter says he’s never been away from the garage for this long. And really, the only way he would never go back there is if he left town or something. But the neighbor confirmed a week ago that he was out of town for awhile, but was now back. So, he’s here. He’s been going to Carter’s shop for years. It’s not like he’s all of a sudden going to stop going there without telling Carter.

We just have to wait. I know patience is a virtue. And one that I have very little of. Goddamn, this is really testing mine…

26 Songs...

26 is my lucky number...may it be soon...

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I CAN'T LET IT DECAY

I Can’t Let It Decay


Hold on…
Hold on a couple more days
Come on…
You got something that I can’t negate
Get out…
Get these demons out of my head
Get out?
Can’t bail out now…I’m in til the end

You…you are so elusive
I…I just need the proof that
All I put in, I get back someday soon…

*Chorus*
Cause I can’t throw it away
I can’t let it decay
What you are is worth the wait
Though everyday is always the same
No news…no move…no change
But I can’t let it decay

Come back…
Come back…you’ve sentenced me
Attack…
Arrest my heart…you’re killing me
Regret…
Regret that I wasn’t prepared
Go back…
A hundred times but you’re never there

You…you are so evasive
And I…I just need to say the
Things I should have said to you that day…

**Chorus**

Wish…I wish for The Star
Wish…I wish I knew where you are
Wish…to recover what is lost
Wish…to evolve…

Cause you…you are so intriguing
I…I just hope we’ll be in
Harmony when our vibrations are in tune...

**Chorus**

Please...let the next song be the song of our meeting...
This makes 25...

180 DEGREES

Come…come out of hiding
Come warm yourself in the fire
Reverse the curse that kept you flying
Cause sooner or later, you have to return to this earth

You float…and I follow
We’ll cross that bridge maybe tomorrow

Chorus
I hope
Things look different
From the other side
Other side…the other side
Of the street
I know
You’ll see me
When you turn around
Turn around…turn around
180 degrees

Return…return to the scene of the crime
Return to the moment I left you behind
Resurrect the object of your affection
Cause sooner or later we have to correct this

I run…and I fall
Harder and faster than I thought possible

**Chorus**

Quick…quick give me something
Give me anything…an occasion to throw a party
Support the force that keeps me from faltering
Keep me focused and faithful enough to follow this course

You…have what I need
You gave me the breath to breathe life into dreams

**Chorus**

Will this be the 24th and final song before we meet?????

WAITING ON YOU

There is this nervous tension, baby
You could slice through with a knife
There is this stark anticipation
And it happens every night
I get a jolt in the morning, baby
When I think of the end of the day
I get a surge in the afternoon
When I wonder what you’ll say

And oh, I’m on edge
I confess
I’m a mess
I need resolution soon
Cause I am such a wreck

Chorus
Oh…I’m waiting on you
Oh…on you
Oh…I’m waiting on you
It’s the only thing to do

There is this steady rhythm, baby
And it beats just like a drum
There is this strange frequency
Not quite sure where it is from
But the pounding in my head’s relentless
It ricochets in my skull
Search for the source of this noise pollution
And it starts right where you are

And oh, I confess
And you digest
What I profess
I’ll reach you somehow
This is no ordinary quest

**Chorus**

Ooh…take me now…higher
Ooh…take me now…higher
Ooh…I need you now…your fire
Ooh…take me now…

And oh, I expect
That you detect
That we connect
There is a faint vibration, baby
Where we intersect

**Chorus**

THE INEPTITUDE OF THOSE RUNNING THE COMMONWEALTH OF MA

One more reason the people who are running the state of Massachusetts are completely inept: excise taxes…

I still have to pay mine. A letter came the other day that said I owed the Commonwealth of Massachusetts $33.75 for the registration of my Mitsubishi Eclipse in the year 2005. That vehicle left the state of Massachusetts on September 1, 2004 and has never returned since. It was registered in the state of California in October 2004, has new plates, and I have a new California driver’s license. On the excise bill, they even have my new California address, so clearly they know I no longer live in Massachusetts. My insurance was cancelled there. My car was not re-registered in September. So, what is this all about? After some research, I found out that even if you move your vehicle out of state before Jan 1 of the year, you STILL HAVE TO PAY the Commonwealth of Massachusetts their excise taxes. Failure to do so results in fines and a warrant. You can file for abatement, but you STILL HAVE TO PAY them. And abatement could take up to 3 years. So, I have to give my money to Massachusetts and then wait up to 3 years to get it back even though I no longer live there. And in order to file for abatement, I need a copy of my registration in California (which I have) AND the receipt for the return of my license plate. Now, I have no idea where to get this. I searched their website and there is no indication of where one could get this. So, I sent them an email. That is after I waited on hold with the city of Boston for 25 MINTUES. I do not have this kind of time in my day. I do not even live in the state of Massachusetts. I do not even live in that goddamn time zone, so I have to be sure to call them during their business hours of 9-5 EST (which is 6-2pm my time) and right in the middle of my work day. I do not know if they will respond to my email. I know that the plate must be returned. Where it must be returned to I do not know. I assume the Registry of Motor Vehicles. Which means that I will have to march down there when I am in Boston in a few weeks to find out if I can get a receipt for the return of my plate and get my money back from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (a state that I do not even live in). This vehicle has been moved from Indiana to Florida and then to Boston before it ever came out here, and I have never experienced this nonsense before.

Fuck Boston…

WWW.FINDACLINT.GOV

After much consideration and debate, we have come to our final decisions regarding the members of our newly formed organization www.findaclint.gov

Yeah, that’s right. This is a government organization. Dedicated to finding Clint…whatever that means to each and every individual. We realize that the Clint hunt is not just about finding Clint, specifically…the actual Romany Wicca mechanic from Tennessee. It is so much bigger than that. It is about finding that thing that you have been searching for. It is about not giving up hope. It is about following dreams with blind faith.

On that note, I am pleased to announce the current members of www.findaclint.gov

President: Deborah Little (aka Deadly Nighshade)

Vice President: Rachel Ottaviano (aka Tequila Mockingbird)

Chief Executive of Operations: Beth Oliver (aka Bonney Death)

Treasurer: Trish Hunte (aka Dread Ebony Hunte)

**Trish will also serve as Chairwoman of the Board**

The Board consists of the following 13 members:

1) Cyndi Chan – Head of Marketing
2) Alan Gately – Head of Music
3) Magda Birczynski – Chief Psychotherapist
4) Loni – Chief Health Advisor
5) Trishadee Newlin – Chief of International Affairs
6) Kent – Chief of Writing Dept.
7) S-K-O-T – Head of Entertainment Booking
8) Maya – Chief Fashion Consultant
9) Cutthroat Chris Cutter – Organizational Psychologist
10) Nate Marrs – Head of Information Technology
11) Tippy Yunnan – Head of Public Relations
12) Weezie – Secretary, Staff Writer
13) Chuck – Head of Security

**Any questions or comments should be directed to CEO Beth Oliver: esperaluna@hotmail.com

**Next Board meeting TBA

CLINT UPDATE

Clint did not go to work at Carter’s last week. He has now been in town one week and not gone in, leading us to believe that he very well will go down there this week. All we are doing is waiting for him to go down there. The letter is waiting with the picture. It is all that we can do. Beth calls daily. Carter looks forward to her calls. Carter is blinding mad at the boys right now. Clint has not called him, but the dudes and the buddies periodically call him up to tell him that they are coming down that afternoon and then no one shows up. Carter has a lot of deals he’s working on and he needs the dudes and the buddies to help him. No one really knows why they are not going down to the shop. I do not understand why Carter doesn’t just get one of their phone numbers so he can call them up and yell at them for not coming to work. But as Beth says, “Carter really does not run a very tight ship down there.” And this is one of the main reasons this whole thing has taken so long. But Carter is confident this is the right Clint. And he is confident that he has to come down to the shop at some point. Beth calls everyday. The letter is sitting on Carter’s desk and is so fresh on his mind that I’m sure he’ll give it to Clint the minute he walks through the door. Carter told Beth to call today because he believed he would have some news. We do not know why he thought this. But he did say that one or more of the dudes and buddies may be going there today and Beth believes that Clint sometimes tags along with them.

We hope for news today…

TARA...IS SHE STALKING ME?

Tara showed up at the Kibitz last night. She is completely insane. I do not know what her reason was for being there, but apparently, she had been at the bar for two hours before we got there sitting in a booth alone and came up to me as soon as I walked through the door. She was completely alone and ended up joining our group in our booth. She says very little. She doesn’t really speak unless she is engaged by a question. But when she does open her mouth, very little that she says makes any sense. However, she somehow managed to pick up some guy at the bar and it appears that she may have even gone home with him. It is difficult for us to understand how this could be possible. All you have to do is look at her to know that she is insane. But then when you actually talk to her, it really hits home. I thought, “Well, the guy must have been completely intoxicated.” But actually, it was confirmed that he was completely sober. He must have been completely insane as well. There’s no other way I can explain this.

MORE NEWS THAN WE'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME

Yesterday, we received the most Clint news that we have received in a very long time. As most of you know, the search has been pretty stagnant these last six weeks or so. The letter and picture were taken down and delivered to Carter’s Auto on March 18th. That is the day after the last day Clint was seen there. As you probably know, it was on the 17th that Clint told Carter he did not believe that any of this was real (due to the fact that Carter does not relay the complete messages to Clint). Carter thought the picture would prove to Clint that I was, indeed, real and clear up any confusion he might have. We thought this was probably best as well. It is for this reason, that I also wrote a letter that was placed in the envelope with the picture explaining where we met and why I wanted to find him again. That way, I would no longer have to rely on Mr. Carter to get my messages straight (Goddess bless him).

But that was 6 weeks ago…

People have begun getting frustrated….Why is this taking so long?? What’s the hold up??

For six weeks, we went with very little news. No one knew where Clint was. We speculated that he had told Carter he was going out of town for several weeks and Carter simply confused the message and thought he said a few days. But we really had no proof other than our speculation. Why wasn’t he going into work? All he needed to do was go there…and the letter was waiting…

Everyday, it was the same old thing…"Well, I don’t know where the hell he is, but I’m going to find him.” Yes, we received many classic “Carterisms” that have kept us inspired and mobilized over the course of these long silent weeks. But really no news...

Until yesterday…

We received more news than we have in quite some time. Carter spoke with Clint’s neighbor yesterday. Now, this is a man that is apparently also involved in the auto shop. He was supposed to buy a car from Carter. It has been confirmed by this man that Clint has, indeed, been out of town for a long time…for several weeks. This explains why he wasn’t going in to the shop. It was also confirmed by this man that Clint is recently back in town. We don’t know exactly when. It may have only been the end of last week. But he’s back in town…which means he could be going into the shop any day now. We feel this is big news for us. Because not only does it explain why he wasn’t at work…it also confirms that he’s back.

Carter believed that Clint would come in either yesterday or today. We’re banking on sometime this week. We are blind but hopeful.

What will he say??

Updates to follow…